Tag: Spirituality

What if…

What if this life is a very different experience than you thought it was? These are the kinds of questions that we begin to ask during and after plant medicine and psychedelic experiences. Yes, there are the specific insights about ourselves and things that help us heal in the moment but the bigger picture questions are inspired by the fact that we can even have these experiences that are so expansive and beyond what we thought was possible in this reality. Did we dip into another reality? While our body remained in this one? Some people may see it that way and it’s an interesting idea but what serves most is to consider the fact that we’ve just been introduced to the idea that there’s so much more to this experience we call ‘life’ than we realized.

What if our thoughts (which the medicines/psychedelics/higher consciousness love to focus on to help us improve our experience) are far more powerful than we had imagined? What if we can harness these thoughts to create a better experience for ourselves? What if all of those things in life that we think are in our way are illusions? What if we begin to consider our thoughts to be navigational tools for this life? Now there’s a thought. 😉 That’s a very promising thought to follow. Where do you want to go in your life? Whether it’s a place or a situation or feeling, using your thoughts to navigate would be a very interesting approach but the ‘feeling’ is really, your ultimate destination because if you want to go to Italy and end up there and miserable, you would be quite disappointed no? Time for a new destination?

We often pursue psychedelics and plant medicines with intentions around feeling better and are introduced to very different ways of perceiving our lives in response to this intention/request. We have these revelational and profound moments of insight and then end up back in the lives we created from our previous perceptions of what this life is and how it works (or doesn’t ;-). So, then it’s time to navigate towards a life that better reflects this new understanding and although there is work to be done on the outside, the greater and more impactful work happens from the inside out. We walk away from these experiences often feeling wonderful and we don’t want that to wear off. Eventually, after getting back into our lives, it often does wear off to some degree and so we then try to set our sights on achieving that feeling again. Changing ourselves and how we think of life and how we approach it in our minds and hearts is the course we set to achieving that feeling again.

Returning to the wondrous question of ‘what if’ is a good way back to that good feeling. Keep the doors of ‘what if’ open inside of you. The kinds of ‘what if’ questions that acknowledge the incredible power we have that these experiences constantly hint at. These are the ‘what if’ highways that lead to new and better ways of living and thinking of this experience we call ‘life’.

What if we could to tap into amazing inner states through hypnotic journeying that help us begin and continue on that path of insights, healing, clarity & personal growth? Connect with me directly at reach.rebecca@me.com to find out more.

A Gateway to the Soul

Through plant medicine and psychedelic experiences, we discover a gateway to the soul, to the universe and to the inner world that is our psyche which is so incredibly vast that we could spend a lifetime exploring it and still have so much to uncover. Many believe that plant medicines/psychedelics are the gateway to the soul, but as it turns out, WE are the gateway. I have had, and have facilitated, many spectacular journeys for people who are looking to integrate their psychedelic experiences  (and even for those who have never had psychedelics) and these inner journeys happen without any substances. This doesn’t mean that psychedelics aren’t a wondrous path to the soul or the psyche – they certainly are – but it’s also wondrous to discover that we can continue (or begin) the incredible journey to ourselves in other ways. Through these inner journeys, we can learn how to honour all of the important discoveries we made through plant medicines/psychedelics. In essence, we can learn how to honour ourselves.

Journeying is such a powerful element of integration because it’s experiential. In addition to discussing the new road we’re traveling due to plant medicines/psychedelics, the revelations continue as we become more and more guided by that unique and sacred inner realm which can also be weird and wonderful – truly reminiscent of the p experience. Once we become more familiar with that inner world, we feel more comfortable checking in with it and being aware of its role in our experience of daily life. This is ultimately what we hope to achieve through integration and to navigate our lives in better ways by creating a stronger connection to that inner world that reflects outward.

To learn more about hypnotic journeying, book a free discovery call by emailing: rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

Self Discovery & Hypnotic Journeying

Access your Inner Wisdom through Hypnotic Journeying

Most of us know how important it is to be true to ourselves but how much of an effort do we make to get to know ourselves? Most of us live lives that are mainly focused on the outer world and on others in our lives. However strange it may seem when we think about it, this is a common way of life and it’s not a stretch to see how this can cause us to live in ways that don’t serve us well. How can we be true to ourselves when we don’t really know ourselves as well as we’d like to think we do? Thankfully, the idea of self-discovery is catching on now and it’s changing how we view the world and how we live our lives for the better. Journeying within is a wonderful way to do this and hypnotic journeying is a natural and effective way to not only know ourselves better but to understand just how powerful we really are.

Many of us search for wisdom not realizing that in the end, we only recognize it as wisdom because it resonates within us. When we are deeply moved or inspired by something, we know that it has reached us at a level where our own wisdom resides – which is why it resonates with us. It vibrates, if you will, at the same level as the wisdom that exists within us. So, although it can be wonderful to achieve this resonance or knowing through discovering other people’s shared wisdom, why not go to the source within that helps us to discern this wisdom in the first place? Hypnotic journeying helps us do this and so much more.

It’s hard to describe the surprise and wonder that I see in people when they discover that they have this incredible inner world that is full of revelations and wisdom. All I do mostly is to help people to discover this and help them to navigate this inner world in ways that benefit them as unique individuals. When we journey, it’s always a tailored experience because we are tapping into our own subconscious and superconscious states. I help people to learn hypnotic journeying techniques so that they can ultimately continue to access these states on their own. They can also continue to connect with this inner wisdom to provide continuing guidance, lessons and support in their daily lives.

I know the value of this kind of inner connection because it has changed my life for the better many times over and continues to do so in ways that never cease to amaze me. It began with shamanic journeying and then with plant medicines/psychedelics but what I continually asked for was to take this kind of connection with me and have it available to me – this source of wisdom – in my daily life. And so it unfolded and because this inner connection was of such value to me, I made it my mission to learn how to provide this for others.

If you’re curious to learn more about hypnotic journeying with me, please email me at reach.rebecca@me.com to book a free discovery call.

Your Genius & Your Inner Genie

Recently, I wrote about the genius in all of us. There was quite a divided response to this article which indicated the doubt so many of us have about our own tremendous inner capacities, and this inspired me to delve further into what the word ‘genius’ actually means. I don’t believe that this is the exclusive club it has been perceived to be and it may be expressed or experienced differently for each of us. When I embark on this kind of inquiry, I always look up the etymology of the word – it’s origins – and although it sheds some light on the meaning, we can also use our own inner knowing to discover what it means to us personally and this, I believe, is the most powerful and empowering aspect of this kind of inquiry. It is the first rule of using your inner genie. It is an inner exploration as well as an outer one as our beliefs and understanding are a personal matter.

Let’s begin with the word ‘genius’. This is just one account of its origins but I think we can glean a lot from it.

genius (n.)

late 14c., “tutelary or moral spirit” who guides and governs an individual through life, from Latin genius “guardian deity or spirit which watches over each person from birth; spirit, incarnation; wit, talent;” also “prophetic skill; the male spirit of a gens,” originally “generative power” (or “inborn nature”), from PIE *gen(e)-yo-, from root *gene- “give birth, beget,” with derivatives referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups. Sense of “characteristic disposition” of a person is from 1580s. Meaning “person of natural intelligence or talent” and that of “exalted natural mental ability” are first recorded 1640s.

The above description of the origins of this word would seem to indicate that it is not from the outside world of knowledge that one gains this kind of distinctive and highly regarded intelligence. I would agree with this. It points to a guiding spirit and this is something I now experience and connect with daily. It has improved my life and my understanding of it substantially, and I believe we all have this capacity. This connection leads to phenomenal insight, rather than being so completely influenced by the mass dissemination of information from the outer world, which is not often driven by this deep source of understanding.

I will comment on one part of the above description of the origins of the word genius; specifically, this statement: “the male spirit of a gens”. I have not found any other reference to this so far that indicates a specifically male aspect but many references of ‘gens’ related to Jinni or Genie interestingly – more on this later. We all have both masculine and feminine in us and although we may experience a presence or spirit as masculine or feminine, they have both of these qualities as we do. The polarization of these masculine and feminine qualities has created a harmful social divide. Through my own inner spiritual connection, I have been moving into a more harmonious state which involves an awareness and balancing of these masculine and feminine qualities in a way that is ideal for me. I see the potential for all of us to do so. It doesn’t mean that we will all have the same opinions or experiences; it just means that we will be able to live peacefully in this diversity of life.

When I looked at the root words of ‘genius’, I couldn’t help but think of the word “genie” and see a connection. Whether or not the writer of this recorded etymology agrees with me, to me, it seems there is a very clear relationship between these two words. One that not everyone will be comfortable with but this is often true when we make discoveries that change our worldview or understanding of how things are. I know this from personal experience. Above all, I always recommend that when determining whether or not you agree with this, to consult that inner knowing/genie/genius.

Definitions from Oxford Languages 

ge·nie

/ˈjēnē/

Origin

mid 17th century (denoting a guardian or protective spirit): from French génie, from Latin genius (see genius). Génie was adopted in the current sense by the 18th-century French translators of The Arabian Nights’ Entertainments, because of its resemblance in form and sense to Arabic jinnī ‘jinnee’.

Doesn’t this sound familiar? These two descriptions are very similar to the description of the word ‘genius’ and the beauty of this is the potential for each of us to discover this magical resource within us. The classic representation of the ‘magic carpet’ associated with the ‘genie’ can easily be interpreted as a prayer rug (yoga/meditation mat?) and if one goes into a deeply meditative state, it can certainly take us on very magical journeys that can provide us with deep insights and even help us to achieve our goals and to prosper if that is one of the goals.

Now below, is the definition of jinn  – the origins of the word ‘genie’.  In this description, the theme of spirit continues and of course, there is also a mention of ‘demons’. Do not be deterred! We will explore this word further and it may help to put this fearsome concept into perspective.

jinn (n.)

1680s, djen, from Arabic jinn. It is a collective plural, “demons, spirits, angels;” the proper singular is jinni, which appears in English occasionally as jinnee (1840) but more frequently as genie.

LAST STATEMENT FROM ABOVE DESCRIPTION: Similarity to genius is accidental.

Again this theme continues and yet, there was a statement at the end of this description/definition that I do not agree with at all. I can see that this is an opinion rather than a statement of fact. My inner genie is quite adamant about this. Now, do I have to consult an inner voice each time I come across something like this to decide what the truth of it is? I do not. Once I read it, I could see that it is a point of view that for me, does not hold up at all. I felt it right away (my inner genie at work) and looked back at the other definitions/etymology and descriptions and I see very clear connections that perhaps you do too – or perhaps not. We can all use our inner genius to draw our own conclusions. Even if we don’t always conclude the same thing, it doesn’t mean that battle must commence to determine the truth for everyone. We may use our knowledge for ourselves or share it with others if we feel inspired to do so and come to peace with the idea that people may use their own inner knowing to move them in whatever direction is appropriate for them.  This is the essence of freedom. It is also the essence of peace.

Now, onto the word ‘Demon’ (also damon/daimon) which is an interesting exploration that reveals lots of influence and we can decide for ourselves how this affects the meaning of this word for us:

demon (n.)

c. 1200, “an evil spirit, malignant supernatural being, an incubus, a devil,” from Latin daemon “spirit,” from Greek daimōn “deity, divine power; lesser god; guiding spirit, tutelary deity” (sometimes including souls of the dead); “one’s genius, lot, or fortune;” from PIE *dai-mon- “divider, provider” (of fortunes or destinies), from root *da- “to divide.”

The malignant sense is because the Greek word was used (with daimonion) in Christian Greek translations and the Vulgate for “god of the heathen, heathen idol” and also for “unclean spirit.” Jewish authors earlier had employed the Greek word in this sense, using it to render shedim “lords, idols” in the Septuagint, and Matthew viii.31 has daimones, translated as deofol in Old English, feend or deuil in Middle English. Another Old English word for this was hellcniht, literally “hell-knight.”

The usual ancient Greek sense, “supernatural agent or intelligence lower than a god, ministering spirit” is attested in English from 1560s and is sometimes written daemon or daimon for purposes of distinction. Meaning “destructive or hideous person” is from 1610s; as “an evil agency personified” (rum, etc.) from 1712.

The Demon of Socrates (late 14c. in English) was a daimonion, a “divine principle or inward oracle.” His accusers, and later the Church Fathers, however, represented this otherwise. The Demon Star (1895) is Algol (q.v.) .

I find it interesting how the meaning of this word involves divine power, genius and also the root: da “to divide”. I think it’s important to consider this in a society that is becoming more and more socially divided. However, I don’t think these divisions are a result of us consulting our inner, higher realm of understanding. Another part of the origins of this word ‘demon’ involves “one’s genius, lot, or fortune”  All of these themes seem to be intertwined and imply that these inner spiritual forces have a lot to do with our intelligence and our fortune or destiny in life. The first view, as presented above (evil spirit), is one that differs widely from the view presented at the end of this description offered by Socrates, which provided a meaning for ‘daimonion’ as a “divine principle or inward oracle.” This was Socrates’ word for his inner spiritual guide. He lived in the 5th century which preceded the more negative definition provided at the beginning of the above account of this word’s etymology. This would seem to indicate that the meaning of this word, or how it was interpreted, changed later on and it’s not difficult to see how this concept of each person having their own, direct spiritual connection might seem to pose a threat to religious rule and other crowned rulers who were considered to have a closer connection/relation to God. Another interesting part of the above description of this word involves “god of heathen, heathen idol”. Heathen means not belonging to a widely held religion. This reminds me of pagans who were considered to be heathens. Pagan etymology/origins: Latin paganus ‘villager, rustic’, from pagus ‘country district’. Latin paganus also meant ‘civilian’. Pagans were civilians and country folk who had their own beliefs and traditions and were persecuted for it – one might even say ‘demonized’.

I’m sure the rabbit hole goes deeper and involves religious influence as well as political and it naturally involves the ideology of those who record these things as it always will. The religious experience at the time of c. 1200 was not from most accounts, an empowering one or one that advocated independent thought. Instead of tapping into one’s inner spirit/knowing/genius, most were encouraged to follow the teachings of officials and religious leaders or the records of those celebrated people who made their own spiritual connections long before and most importantly of the official interpretations of these recorded experiences. Some of the stories that arose from these early spiritual experiences are inspiring and still inspire people today. However, there are now, more and more people discovering that they may have their own lived experience of their unique, personal spirituality and I believe it was experiences like these that inspired so many people who were considered to be geniuses of their time as Socrates alluded to using a word that ironically came to mean something evil. I believe there’s also an interesting connection between these words and the word ‘gene’ which we have come to understand as being an essential aspect of our unique physical being. Here’s a short excerpt of the origins of this word:

From German Gen, from Ancient Greek γενεά (geneá, “generation, descent”), from the aorist infinitive of γίγνομαι (gígnomai, “I come into being”). Coined by the Danish biologist Wilhelm Ludvig Johannsen in a German-language publication, from the last syllable of pangene.[1]

The statement that stands out the most from the above description is “I come into being”. This is a far more profound and meaningful statement than I have ever heard in scientific discussions around ‘genes’. I think all of this reveals a deeper mystery surrounding who we are, what our true potential/capacities are and how that relates to spiritual guidance and our relationship to our own spirituality. What I have gleaned from this exploration of the word ‘genius’ has confirmed what I have learned from my own experiences which is that this inner connection is a fundamental aspect of who we are and being separated from it, causes suffering. We are so much more than our physical selves. Now that so many people in the world suffer from anxiety, depression, addiction, ill health etc., it’s important to get back to some essential idea of who we really are and begin to build from there. This has been an essential aspect of healing for so many of us who have been on the path of physical/emotional healing and personal growth.

Amidst all of the turmoil in the world today, and perhaps because of it, there is an emergence of practices that allow people to connect with their own inner spirit and inner knowing. It is creating a shift that holds great promise for our future and one that is truly empowering to every individual. With this inner exploration, not only may we encounter/connect with our inner spirit/genius, we also discover the darker inner elements within that create suffering (it was suggested to me that the word ‘jinn’ or ‘jinni’ may be associated with these darker aspects). Each of us may decide what to do with/about these darker elements. There are many tools for us to discover and heal and if we focus inward, we will know which ones resonate with us as individuals. Delving within can teach us a great deal and help us tap into our own inner genius. This inner connection can help us form a better relationship with ourselves, with others and with the world around us. It can help us create a life that is an expression of this deeper, wiser, more authentic part of ourselves – one that is conducive to a happier and more harmonious existence.

If you would like to learn more about working with me to access your inner genie/genius through hypnosis, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com to arrange for a free discovery call.

Altered States, After Life, ET Encounters & Us

For a long time now, I have noticed startling similarities between near death experiences, plant medicine or psychedelic journeys, hypnotic experiences and descriptions of encounters with Aliens or ETs. Many of us who have had plant medicine experiences have had connections with what we might consider to be spirits or sometimes we refer to them as entities. It can be a very nuanced experience but sometimes there is a ‘knowing’ involved – a natural understanding of what we’re experiencing. Lots of people have seen or had contact with what they know to be alien entities during plant medicine journeys. There are many unique experiences we have with plant medicines that are beyond description. I’m sure the same is true of near death experiences and encounters with ETs but some of us who have had such extraordinary experiences feel compelled to share them none the less. And as more and more people share these stories, a fascinating bigger picture is emerging.

Although it has been out there for a while now, I just recently came across an account of an alien encounter by Emily Trim who was attending school in Zimbabwe in 1994 when aliens were reported to have landed in the schoolyard during recess. In her description of this encounter, she explains that the aliens communicated with her telepathically and that she was flooded with images. These experiences of telepathic communication and being flooded with images are very common with plant medicine and psychedelic experiences. Emily went on to explain that the aliens communicated an important message about how we’re using technology – that there are good and bad ways to use technology and that we can do better. In the end, after receiving a lot of questions about the physical nature of the aliens and their ship, Emily emphasized the importance of what they were saying rather than how they looked. This struck me as so familiar as it’s a point I have made myself so many times. I have a presence (entity/spirit) that I dialogue with telepathically on a regular basis and I speak openly about these experiences. It began with shamanic journeying and continued in a more pronounced way after my first Ayahuasca retreat (with other plant medicine experiences in between). Lots of people asked me questions about this presence or voice/voices, about who are they and where are they from and I almost always respond by emphasizing the importance of the messages they are conveying and what I am learning from them rather than focusing on other aspects, which are not as important. The messages I receive are often ones relating to my own personal growth but sometimes, as with Emily Trim and the message she received from her alien encounter, these messages are about humanity and how we can improve (click here to read some of these messages).

In addition to finding similarities between plant medicine/psychedelic experiences and those of ET contactees, I also found myself relating to many of the near death experience stories published on Youtube as many of them are similar to plant medicine experiences. One of these NDE talks was given by Bill Letson who spoke about his encounter with an alien like being during his near death experience. Near death experiences take place during the time after a person is pronounced or presumed dead and before they are revived or discovered to be alive. After his NDE, Bill also experienced Ayahuasca. Sometimes, the Ayahuasca experience is referred to as ‘the little death’. Many of us come out of these experiences, no longer fearing death as we realize that our existence extends beyond this life. There are a wide variety of other impacts of plant medicine experiences and again, the reports are similar to the kinds of things that happen after NDEs but they also vary because the effects are as unique as we are. The similarities exist in that they change people’s worldview, improve their emotional state and sometimes leave them with special abilities they had not tapped into previously. Most people receive teachings/messages that are profound and again, they are often a mix of personal messages and those intended to help humanity.

During my first experience with Iboga, a powerful African plant medicine, like so many others, there were many images coming at me all at once. This is a very common experience to have with Iboga and some have experienced the same with psilocybin, Ayahuasca and psychedelics. In one of my Iboga experiences, I ended up in the stars and had such a tranquil experience there. It was such an enjoyable experience that I have often intentionally returned there in hypnotic journeys, just to have that wondrous sense of floating freely amongst the stars again. Before my experiences in shamanism and with plant medicines, although I loved to look at the stars, the idea of being in space scared me and seemed cold and lifeless. All of that changed after my first shamanic journey. My first ever visual during a shamanic journey was one of being in the stars. Little did I know where it would lead. It was this first exploration into shamanic journeying (with sonic drumming) that facilitated my connection with a presence that made itself known to me during that time. This changed my life dramatically and for the better. I had been depressed leading up to this experience and coming out of it, I knew that things would be different and that I was now on a path to a much better life.

After spending years learning from this presence and integrating these experiences, I wanted to share it in a way that helped others. I was doing this through my podcast and talks but so many people came to me and asked how they could make the kind of connection I was experiencing and be guided by it as I was. I had to think about this for a while as I intended to come up with a solution that was just as empowering as I felt my own experience continued to be. Eventually, I settled on hypnosis. I discovered that it’s just a method of us tapping into those inner capacities we all have – capacities that are also accessed through all of these other experiences – psychedelic/NDE etc. I knew that hypnosis would be a good journeying tool and I also discovered that it could help people who had ET encounters, to recall details about these events. It’s very helpful in integrating plant medicine experiences and most importantly, it can help people make connections with entities and spiritual allies that offer guidance by providing them with important messages. Seeing the dots connect?

Some time ago, I came across reports about alien encounters where people were receiving messages through songs on the radio. I had this experience often after returning from Peru while I was cultivating my relationship with this wise presence. Is it an alien? Is it a spirit? Does it matter? It doesn’t matter to me but what I do find intriguing is the blurring lines between these kinds of experiences and the implications of this for all of us. These connections, experiences and encounters are helping us to understand ourselves better. They also reveal to us something about our possible origins. With plant medicines, psychedelics and NDEs we have experiences beyond our bodies and even in our bodies, we connect in profound ways beyond our perceived limits of this physical realm. Any entity or ‘being’ we encounter that is not ‘of Earth’ we consider to be alien or spirit but if we agree that our existence did not begin with our birth on this planet, then I guess we can all be considered to be aliens or spiritual beings. These experiences present an expanded idea of who we really are.

We’re often deeply moved by the magical nature of these experiences that offer us very different existential perspectives and often change our worldview for the better – sometimes, many times over. This seems to be a necessary aspect of healing as many of us approach plant medicines, psychedelics and hypnosis for healing or to achieve positive change of some kind. Even the scientific reports of therapeutic use of psychedelics conclude that people who have had mystical experiences during their ‘trip’ have more positive long-term outcomes. This also seems to be true of those who make these connections via hypnosis as well. Just having the experience of being connected to something bigger is important. It’s more than a concept or belief. We’re having lived experiences of this now in so many different ways. And those ways are becoming more and more accessible which is changing us collectively for the better and bringing about a sort of accelerated evolution. It is moving us beyond our limited notions of what’s possible and this is changing everything.

References:

Zimbabwe UFO Child Conactee Speaks Publicly For The 1st Time

The Mystical Experience is Critical for the Therapeutic Effects of Psilocybin

The Mystical Experience is Critical for the Therapeutic Effects of Psilocybin

Griffiths R, Richards W, Johnson M, McCann U, Jesse R. Mystical-type experiences occasioned by psilocybin mediate the attribution of personal meaning and spiritual significance 14 months later. J Psychopharmacol. 2008;22(6):621-632. doi:10.1177/0269881108094300

Griffiths RR, Johnson MW, Richards WA, Richards BD, McCann U, Jesse R. Psilocybin occasioned mystical-type experiences: immediate and persisting dose-related effects. Psychopharmacology (Berl). 2011 Dec;218(4):649-65. doi: 10.1007/s00213-011-2358-5. Epub 2011 Jun 15.

Griffiths RR, Johnson MW, Richards WA, Richards BD, Jesse R, MacLean KA, Barrett FS, Cosimano MP, Klinedinst MA. Psilocybin-occasioned mystical-type experience in combination with meditation and other spiritual practices produces enduring positive changes in psychological functioning and in trait measures of prosocial attitudes and behaviors. J Psychopharmacol. 2018 Jan;32(1):49-69. doi: 10.1177/0269881117731279.

Study comparing DMT experiences with NDEs

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01424/full

Ayahuasca: The Grandmother Who Helped Me to Become a Better Mother

Ayahuasca is a South American Medicine that takes the form of a tea usually brewed from two different plants but variations abound. Ayahuasca is often referred to as a plant medicine, an entheogen and a ‘teacher plant’. For me, this last description resonates deeply. Ayahuasca is used in ceremonies that are conducted in a shamanic tradition that dates back thousands of years. It is now used also in religious ceremonies and many other kinds of ceremonies that are often influenced to varying degrees by shamanic traditions. It was originally only drank by shamans who would do so as a means to cultivate their own skills as healers, leaders and wisdom keepers. The shaman would drink the brew and ‘journey’ – enter an altered state of consciousness – to gain insight into some issue or to receive guidance as to how a problem or condition might be addressed. Shamans might also do this with many other intentions. There is a whole world of variations when it comes to this practice and the intentions and nature of the shamans involved in it. They are human and come from many different tribes and communities worldwide with varying traditions, histories and ideologies.

Today, there are many people worldwide, many from the West pursuing this form of medicine. People are drinking Ayahuasca and having transformational experiences. There have been many fascinating stories about spiritual visions, physical and emotional healings and profound insights. These are important stories that only begin to scratch the surface of what is possible when we open up to this higher intelligence or source of wisdom – whatever description resonates with you would be the one to follow. If I’ve learned anything through my own extensive experiences with this medicine, it’s to not get hung up on these words.

I pursued plant medicines to address a very deep depression I had been suffering from for years. I had suffered on and off from depression throughout my life to varying degrees and many people can relate to some of the experiences I’d had with it. Then came the deeper version that devastated me. Ultimately, I became reclusive and had shut down. Far too many people can relate to this state these days and I think that this is why people are flocking to the jungle to try the medicine that addresses these conditions very differently than prescriptions that attempt to mask the problem. The reason why shamanic medicine is so unpredictable is because it seeks to address the deeper issues behind the conditions that are actually symptoms telling us that something is wrong. Ayahuasca reveals very clearly just how unique we are and what very personal issues we need to address. It is just the beginning of the healing journey.

Underlying these very personal, unique issues, are some universal messages that deep down, we all know. The message of self-love and of approaching the world with love and that our world is what we make it. These things, deep down, we know are true. What each person needs to understand and address in their own lives so that they may live the truth of these messages, well, that’s the adventure we call the healing path.  It has been and continues to be one of the greatest adventures of my life. In fact, it has turned my life into an adventure because for me, the experience of Ayahuasca continues daily.

In 2013 I began my shamanic training which at that time, did not involve plant medicines. It involved journeying and connecting with a higher level of consciousness that began to teach me about myself which helped me to prepare for my work with plant medicines the following year. In 2015, after having begun my work with plant medicines a year before, I realized the power they held and decided to continue this journey. I had already experienced an African plant medicine called Iboga and as a result of my experience with it, I managed to pull myself out of depression enough to make some huge life changes that took a great deal of energy and courage. Once this was done, I knew that I had only just begun. I explored another powerful plant medicine, Peyote in the Mexican desert and after returning home from this experience, I began to make plans to attend an Ayahuasca retreat in the jungle in Peru. As I began the considerable preparations for this trip, I started to think about the kinds of things I wanted to know. I had enough experience with these medicines to know that there was a phenomenon at work here that provided me with an opportunity for the kind of learning that just wasn’t available to me through any other source. As I wrote down my ‘intentions’ – the things I wanted to accomplish through this retreat which of course were all healing oriented intentions – I also had questions rolling around in my head at this time. These questions pertained to the nature of reality. Was it possible to discover the nature of reality through these experiences?

When I arrived in the jungle, I felt that I had come home. I immediately wanted to go barefoot and after grappling with my own hesitations about doing this the ants came to the rescue. They took over my shoes which forced me to go barefoot for three days. I loved this experience. I loved the feel of my feet connecting with the earth through the soft jungle floor. I loved the lizards and the frogs and the atmosphere of wonder all around me. I loved the warmth of the people and the mystery surrounding the medicine experience. I loved the hug that Ayahuasca gave me when she showed up in my first experience in the form of a large, magnificent insect with wings and six legs that she used to give me a warm and thorough embrace.

A dialogue quickly began between us which started with her response to the question I had in my mind about the nature of reality weeks earlier while I was writing out my intentions for this retreat. It was my first lesson in a way. Before the retreat, I was writing out the kinds of intentions I thought I should have but in my mind, my deeper desire and natural curiosity about reality was what Ayahuasca responded to. Our thoughts are powerful and Ayahuasca responds to them. In fact, I have come to understand that our experiences in life are very responsive in this way. While in ceremony, it soon became clear that my connection with Ayahuasca had existed for quite a long time before this first night of drinking the brew. Ayahuasca, which is often experienced as a feminine presence and referred to as the ‘Mother’ or ‘Grandmother’, took me into a dream that I had a long time ago and showed me that we had interacted in that dream, much like we were doing in ceremony. Our dialogue continued throughout the two weeks that I was there in the jungle and thus began my real education. Little did I know then that this would become my new, everyday reality.

After returning home, I was in the shower looking at my feet, and contemplating something one of the facilitators had told me while I was in the jungle. The facilitator had noticed that I was going barefoot and she told me that we have more pores in our feet than anywhere else on our body. I was thinking of this interesting fact in the shower while looking at my feet and suddenly I heard “that’s how they knew how to get home”. It was an Ayahuasca moment. I knew that I was receiving a history lesson (something that often happens in ceremony) about how early indigenous people navigated their world. My dialogue with Ayahuasca had commenced again and continued daily (and nightly) for me ever since.

It’s one thing to receive lessons, insights, wisdom and advice while in ceremony in the jungle and quite another to receive these on the spot lessons while living your life and making all of the ‘mistakes’ that we often make in the course of a day. Of course they aren’t really mistakes and that’s one of the many lessons that I continue to learn. I’m grateful to have this guidance in my life but it is an enormous challenge at times and although I would never wish it away, it has often been something I felt I couldn’t quite live up to. These are the kinds of thoughts that I am learning to dismiss in favour of being more self-supportive so that my life is a reflection of this more self-loving state. One of the responses Ayahuasca gave me to the question of the nature of reality was “Your reality is due to your state”. Ever since then, we’ve been working together on improving my state and in so doing, improving my reality.

In the following weeks and months, I discovered that not only did my state affect my own reality, it affected my son’s reality profoundly. This was one of the great motivations I had to heal – so that I could become a better mother to my son. I had been depressed on and off since he was born and fell into a deeper and deeper depression during his early years. I had a harrowing experience in the hospital both during his birth and afterwards. At one point, I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn’t leave the hospital if I didn’t take matters into my own hands. When I did, things improved to the point where I could leave the hospital and finally be with my newborn son who had been separated from me at birth. I experienced that very same conviction just before I began to move out of my depression – I had to take matters into my own hands.

I had been living separately from my son’s father for six months before I took my trip to Peru and our son was living with each of us half the time. It was a huge adjustment for all of us and I now had the greatest support of all – the support of the Grandmother. At the beginning, I had to take matters in hand in terms of letting my son know that I was his mother and that he needed to acknowledge me as a firmly guiding presence in his life. This was not easy as I had been so much in the background before then, while I was ill, and all I wanted to do was to be with him in a way that was not so challenging. That wasn’t working out so well as I discovered and the challenges were going to be there regardless of how hard I tried to ignore them.

Both my son and I went through a long and ever changing period of growth together. It was humbling, rewarding and astonishing as I was continually guided through these changes. It continues to this day but becomes different as we grow. I always let my son know that I’m learning too and growing with him. Never in my life have I felt more like a child than I have since the presence of Ayahuasca entered my life. I’m constantly learning about things I need to do differently and asked to be compassionate with myself about what I perceive as ‘mistakes’. I am continually encouraged to do better and always counselled with love. I pass this onto my son as much as I can so really, I am both child and parent.

I became a better parent when I began to recognize my own need to learn and grow and to acknowledge when I was doing things that were not helping me to move in the direction I wanted to go. I’ve passed these lessons onto my son and this takes time, conviction and patience. Time is something that parents seem to have less and less of in the kind of 9-5, highly scheduled life that has been the norm for so long but now, many of us have an opportunity to create a different schedule. I never went back to that 9-5 schedule after plant medicines and my life and relationships improved substantially as a result.

I’ve had to prioritize time over schedule to accomplish some of the things I needed to do to teach my son in a way that I felt good about. It came to the point where I knew that punishing my son (in any way) was not only ineffective, there was a reason that I felt so bad about it. After the insights I had gleaned from delving into my own issues that were born out of my past, I realized that I was laying down the blueprints for my son’s future relationships. Would I punish him for doing something that was ‘wrong’ or would I sit down with him and have a discussion that could teach him in a way that helped him to discover that this behaviour did not serve him? I was being gently guided in a loving way and I was certainly going to do this with my son no matter how much it might interfere with a schedule I had no hand in creating. Time to begin to create a new schedule.

As a parent, when I became involved in addressing my son’s behaviour, I was surprised at the power of the pull towards mimicking my parent’s methods. This happened sometimes before I had a chance to think. My mother’s or father’s words would come straight out of my mouth in response to something my son was doing and it was frightening. I began to wonder how often this had happened with my parents too. After all, they had five children. Did they ever really have the time to reflect on any of this? I know that once they took time out it was for each other, to save their marriage and in the end, I know that they did this for us too. Even so, there were repercussions. Taking time for themselves (which translated into ultimately helping others in similar situations) meant that they were away many weekends during which my older brothers had free reign at home and they were not ready for this responsibility to say the least.

I know that I’m not alone in struggling at times to achieve a healthy balance between the needs of parent and child. Not everyone’s needs are the same and that’s the reason why it’s sometimes difficult to achieve this balance in a system that is normative based. What this spiritual grandmother has taught me is that if I base my future behaviour on what I considered to be normal in my past, I was not going to grow (or thrive for that matter). The simplicity of these lessons is one of the many humbling aspects of this journey. However, easy as it seems, what’s difficult is applying it in your life when all around you, the norm prevails. This is where the warrior steps in.

Many use the term warrior to describe those of us who have embarked on this unique journey of personal growth.  I balked at this term initially but as the challenges presented themselves, one after another, I began to warm to the concept. How else was I to describe the strength it took to continue when everything seemed to be against me except for these words of wisdom and this deep, aching desire for change? It takes courage to continue on this path and this is why I now embrace the concept of the warrior. Mostly it’s a courageous aspect of myself that acknowledges the battle within the mind and within oneself. To me, the warrior represents the strength it takes to move through the changes that are required to achieve a better state. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, I’m asked to focus on creating what I do want and to move towards it in my mind, in my heart and in my actions. Essentially, I’m asked to be the change I want to see in the world and in my life. If I ask my son to do this, I must be willing to show him how it’s done and to admit it when I find myself veering off the path.

It’s been and continues to be a challenging, rewarding and magical journey with mother and grandmother Ayahuasca. It tests my endurance, courage and strength but always gives me more strength, courage and a greater capacity to endure and most importantly a greater capacity to love. The nature of the education I have received and continue to receive from Ayahuasca goes beyond pedagogy and becomes a sort of way of life. Our lives are the ceremony if we open up to this possibility. This whole experience of life is an opportunity to learn and grow which often involves moving beyond the conventions set down before us and creating more dynamic lives that reflect and honour our unique individuality. Our lives can be an expression of love and respect for ourselves that radiates outward. I’m convinced that this is what will really change the world for the better. If we intend to make positive change in this world, we must begin with ourselves.

If you would like to learn more about working with me to delve within, heal and grow, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com to arrange for a free discovery call.

Coming Out

When I came out about my Ayahuasca experiences it felt like such a dramatic step, probably because it was. I had not been on Facebook socially for years and had been so isolated that it was a shock to the senses to even contemplate this kind of personal exposure to the masses in general let alone coming out with such a wild story. But this was only the beginning for me.

First I had to get over my own misgivings about talking openly about my experiences – sorting through them and understanding them. Did my misgivings have to do with the stigma around ‘drugs’? Or was it the stigma of others’ preconceived notions about spirits? Talking plants? Inner voices? There were many things I had to consider myself before coming out in a way that didn’t reflect my own inner barriers.

I had to sort out how I felt about it and I did that initially through writing about it and exploring my thoughts and attitudes about all of it as I went. This was a valuable process in and of itself as it taught me a lot about myself and helped bring to the surface some unhealthy attitudes that had to change – not just to help facilitate my ‘coming out’ but to help support this new, more healthy person I was becoming.

Once I had worked through a lot of my own ideas about it, I wanted to focus on the outcome of these experiences – the inspirational stuff – the stuff that all human beings can connect with and are looking for: peace, insight, connectedness, wholeness, healing, wellness & meaning. These were the most important pieces of the story and talking honestly (for me) about where I was at before I had plant medicine experiences. These were the aspects of the experience that others could identify with and there were elements of this story that held so much promise for what others wanted in their lives and what they could achieve. It was the same with me when I heard others speak about these experiences. I knew there was something there for me but I didn’t realize the full extent to which this experience would change me and continue to change me in ways that were not always comfortable to say the least.

Another thing I had to consider was my own motivations for telling my story (other than the fact that Ayahuasca was urging me to do so ;-). I have heard others speak about things (especially spiritual or even ‘cures’ or natural remedies) where their attachment to outcome came through so strongly, it turned me off. I felt their agenda and rejected what they had to say not because of the content but because of this control factor. It was uncomfortable. So, I had to figure this out about myself. Did I have an agenda? What was my purpose in telling my story? Did it come from an attachment to a desired outcome or was it because I had a more authentic motivation? Did it matter whether or not people believed me? That was a big one and important for me to explore further.

For me, at the beginning, I was so moved by what had happened to me that I felt a deep and natural desire to express it. In the heart of my experience with plant medicines, there was a truth that was so profound it deserved to be expressed. That was all. However, I had to take the journey of exploring all of the other things to get to the point where I could do this and I grew through that explorative journey. It was an integrative process. I confronted my inner barriers and discovered the reasons behind my concerns about what people might think. I explored my own ideas about plants, spirituality etc before and after plant medicines and made that part of my coming out story. That part was authentically me – a person who thrives on exploration of these matters. It’s not necessarily everyone else. If it wasn’t part of who I was, it may have come off more like I was defending some uncontested story.

So, coming out is a journey and for some of us, it may require some prep. If we search ourselves for any agendas or fears, this prep can be an opportunity for some personal growth and healing. What I have discovered is that there’s very little, if anything in life that doesn’t present this opportunity.

I was Praying To The Wrong Gods. A LESSON IN FOCUS.

Yesterday as I was doing some cleaning, I began to contemplate some problems that I wanted to resolve when this wise, guiding voice entered my mind (as it has often for years now) and said “You’re praying to the wrong Gods”. I then received an insight, which was really a lesson about focus. It was helping me to recognize that I was focusing on (i.e. ‘praying to’) the wrong things. This message was delivered in such a creative way that it completely captured my attention. I was a captive audience for this latest lesson, which was a lesson I have received before in many different forms but somehow now was the time to receive it in this particular way. Reinforcement of these lessons is always a good thing.

I have experienced many stages throughout my path of personal growth and the more open I become, the more I learn and change for the better. Yesterday, I was thinking about my problems in an open enough way for me to receive this insight. There was room for it to happen. Fear makes it difficult to be open and the things I was focusing on were driving me into a state of fear. Thankfully, the guiding voice intervened before I went too far into fear which would have closed me down. Once I received this initial message, I began to think about the Greek and Roman Gods I had learned about in school and through independent reading, and I wondered if our ancestors received these kinds of messages too. I began to think about the kind of ‘Gods’ I would ‘pray’ to and sure enough, these interesting figures appeared in my mind when I thought about things like good relationships, prosperity and so on. I had created and/or connected to a ‘God’ for each of these concepts. I now know that although things do present themselves to me out of the blue like this wise voice, my responses and this interaction can become a creative one, which is also a lesson in manifestation and how we create our own reality.

The point is, for the rest of the day, instead of thinking about my problems and how to resolve them, I began to open up to solutions. My focus was no longer on problems or strategies, it was on the feelings of achieving the things I wished to and being in a better state to receive insights aligned with this better state. It may seem like a subtle difference but it’s not. My old Gods were the Gods of problems – I was ‘praying’ to lack of this or that. I’m now praying to the Gods of love, prosperity, peace, health, joy, energy and inspiration. When my mind begins to spend time focusing on these things or these ‘Gods’, my mood changes for the better and I’m sure my health does too – heart rate and so on. I’m sending a signal out to the world that indicates my intentions more clearly.

From all of my experience through my dialogue with this wise, higher level of consciousness that has been readily available to me since my first Ayahuasca retreat, I began to realize that there’s a whole other form of communication that is available to all of us. It’s a form of communication that takes place in the mind and goes out into the world. We’re all participating in that dialogue, we just aren’t necessarily aware of it. Becoming aware of it is an empowering thing because suddenly, we have a new way of operating intentionally in this life. I shudder to think of the messages I had been sending out into the world when I was depressed. I know these messages all too well and I was so steeped in them that I don’t think there was room for the kinds of insights I receive now. However, that long-term depression I entered into years ago led me to the plant medicines and tools that serve me very well to this day. In the end, I was grateful for that difficult time which led me to the path I’m on now. Where I was then was just as valid and important as where I am now.

During this long, unfolding path of personal growth, I have received many messages and insights regarding the mind and how to change the atmosphere of the mind. Every stage of this work has it’s own tone and purpose.  The work that needed to be done three years ago was different than what needs to happen now. I would be introduced to these concepts in different ways depending on the state I was in. This message yesterday was such a playful one and I had a delightful time reaching out to these new ‘Gods’ in my mind and seeing what my imagination and higher consciousness produced in response. What I can say is that my day became a lot more fun and my outlook improved substantially.

Outlook is important. We look out into the world through a lens and although my lens continues to improve, it still does, at times, become clouded with older habits – mild as they are, they still have impact. Yesterday, I had a lens cleaning as I was cleaning my home and was provided with some new, creative filters. My new Gods of Love, Peace, Energy, Health and Prosperity are now filling my mind and although I will try to focus on them one at a time, I know that they are all available to me. I simply have to give them an opportunity to be there and replace the Gods of problems, conflict and all of the other things I don’t wish to fill my mind, my life and my world. I must allow these other Gods to exit my mind. The re-organization of my mind is an ongoing process I have engaged in and approached in different ways for years now and my life has changed for the better as a result.

Throughout my experiences with this higher consciousness, a consistent theme has presented itself over and over again, which is that the nature of our experience in this world is a responsive one. The experience we have in this life is one that is constantly adjusting and responding to our state. My very first, burning question for Ayahuasca was “What is the nature of reality?”. Her response: “Reality is flexible.” “Your reality is due to your state.” Thinking about this now, I realize that spending time thinking about and reaching out to the Gods of Love, Joy, Prosperity, Health, Creativity and Peace improved my state immensely. Is it all just imagination? It could be. And what an incredibly powerful tool it is! All of the solid things we rely on today originated in the imagination before they were created. Our imagination has the power to create. Imagine the world we would live in if we created from the state of Love?

I believe that all of these Gods are available to everyone and if you open up to them, they may present themselves in ways that are very unique to who you are. Instead of reaching out in your mind to the Gods of love, prosperity and health, you may prefer to imagine these realities unfolding in your life. This is where these ‘prayers’ ultimately lead while dissolving these other less pleasant ‘Gods’. If you make room for them, they may change your mind and your outlook for the better. If you’re not ready to embrace these positive ‘Gods’ just now, be gentle with yourself and know that they are available to you when you are ready.

Hypnosis & Psychedelic/Plant Medicine Integration

From the earliest stages of my foray into shamanism, my intention was to heal and the first message or insight I received in response to my intention was “everything you need is inside of you”. It’s not an original notion but I didn’t take it as seriously as I began to once I embarked on the shamanic path of healing which ultimately involved plant medicines and psychedelics. It was an essential theme for inner work and personal growth that helped me to put my focus where it needed to be – within. That was 10 years ago and it has served me well. I have experienced many plant medicines, psychedelics, shamanic healings/retreats and used many tools along the way and all of them confirmed the fact that changing from within was the most powerful way to change my life experience for the better.

I then began to search for the best tool to help others to do this kind of work. I searched for something that resonated with me and that honoured this most essential theme of focusing within to bring about changes in one’s life. I was very surprised to discover that hypnosis answered this description and served as the ultimate tool for plant medicine and psychedelic integration. Like many, I often perceived hypnosis as a disempowering practice that was used to control others but this was a misconception. In fact, I had many misconceptions about psychedelics, spirituality and even shamanism as well, probably due to how it was represented in the media and in other ways that I had been exposed to throughout my life. What a revelation it was to discover how empowering and transformative hypnosis could be! It was a pleasant surprise and I still marvel at the power of it and how much it has changed so many people’s lives for the better including my own.

After studying and working with hypnosis the shamanic applications of it were so evident, it seems to me now that it must have been inspired by the ancient practice of shamanic journeying and meditation. In my experience and practice, hypnosis is a powerful combination of both and it’s the ideal integration method. Hypnosis can be used as a tool of self-discovery, which allows us to not only deeply explore our inner world but to begin to heal it. It allows us to discover inner programming and to change it for the better. It can also serve to facilitate a connection to higher consciousness to gain invaluable insights and this has unlimited potential. Sound familiar? It is very much like the experiences we have with plant medicines and psychedelics. In fact, it’s possible to revisit psychedelic and plant medicine experiences through hypnotic journeying. It’s a fascinating and transformative experience as it reveals to us our own unlimited potential and helps us to continue the journey we began with plant medicines and psychedelics. It is also a practice that we can begin to cultivate and do independently. As any truly empowering tool does, it engenders a sense of personal power, personal responsibility and unlimited possibilities.

Hypnosis testimonials

“If it wasn’t for the undeniable synchronicities that led me to Rebecca, I wouldn’t have imagined myself as someone to seek out counselling or therapy. I place a lot of faith in meditation and self-guided practises, and believe the answers we seek are present within ourselves – we don’t need to seek them from external sources. While this has served me vey well for many difficult years of my life, I recognized that I had reached a point where I was stuck and couldn’t identify what it was that was holding me back. After a couple of sessions with Rebecca I felt my mind had been gently trained to free itself from the many busy thoughts that hold us back from connecting with our subconscious self. I was able to tap into deeper states of relaxation that facilitated the deep inner work, which helped reveal the self-limiting beliefs I had around wealth and influence. Rebecca was very intuitive in guiding my inward journey, and very gentle in helping me embrace more wholesome and empowering ideologies. To help me continue realigning my beliefs while outside of our sessions, she provided me with guided self-hypnosis recordings that I could play anytime through the day, and particularly before bed. These powerful personalized recordings were designed very thoughtfully and thoroughly, and very soon I started to experience a generalized sense of wellness and confidence. As I continue my sessions and continue to peel back the layers of the onion that is my psyche, I want to express my gratitude for the transformative work Rebecca is doing through her hypnosis sessions!”

                                                                    Dr. Vedant Arun, Medical Bio-Physicist

“I worked with Rebecca in Hypnotherapy in fall 2019. In the sessions, I was able to feel peace and even have healing experiences. Rebecca is very knowledgeable in her craft and able to integrate her other plant medicine experiences as part of the coaching experience as well. She is very patient and open minded, providing a safe and comfortable space for me to freely explore and experience. Her voice is very soothing and led me into a trance that I wasn’t able to experience before. If you are interested in trying hypnotherapy, you will be in great hands with Rebecca. I also thoroughly enjoy her podcast as it can be a very good complement to her sessions. Happy journeying!”

Lu Wang, Business Consultant

I have been working with Rebecca for about 6 months at this point. I initially came to her for help with longer-term integration of my experiences with plant medicines. After a couple of rough journeys, I was actually fairly terrified of the whole process, and was reassured by listening to her podcasts.

After our first communications led me to ask for guidance and help via (remote) hypnotherapy, her compassionate presence and her insight helped me feel wonderfully supported as I continued to explore the process and broader journey. Her heartfelt efforts have helped me to gain both more understanding of and peace with the path I’m on. Specifically, she’s helped me to feel the loving side of the Grandmother, and helped prepare me for journeys by teaching self-hypnosis to improve my focus on intentions.

Her techniques are grounded and heartfelt, and her openness and compassion are palpable. Rebecca helps me to bridge my rather concrete allopathic training with these experiences, and to improve that which is my daily practice of living. I’m grateful for having found her and for the experiences she’s led me through, and looking forward to further exploration and growth.

Internist, Texas

If you are interested in working with me to discover your inner resources through hypnosis, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

Please note, I work remotely via Zoom which will require a computer with a camera and a built-in microphone (which most computers have).