Personal Power – Rebecca Hayden

Honour Your Inner Genius

My Ayahuasca experience in the summer of 2018 provided insights that may help us to peacefully navigate the rising social divide. I wrote about this experience right afterwards and the account below is a combination of journaling and auto-writing the lessons and messages that came through during ceremony.

This experience was all about beliefs, agreements, consensus and conflict. Aya showed me how these things converge in my experience and in humanity. She told me how unique I am and because of this I would often do things differently than others and that this is good. Others may not agree and try to make me feel that I should do things like everyone else and it’s important for me to not participate in their belief systems around this. Once I begin to participate I am no longer following my own beliefs; I’m following theirs instead and working against myself. I have done this often in my life and I have formed some harmful agreements as a result. I have a broken those agreements now. During ceremony I was given an opportunity to demonstrate this.

This small, private ceremony had a religious context and initially I was concerned about this only because I knew that I approached this work differently so I asked in advance if it was required that I participate in all aspects of this ceremony. I made it clear that it was my intention to just go into my own experience as I always do with Ayahuasca and I wanted to make sure that this was ok and that by doing this, I wouldn’t be disrupting others or if this approach would be unwelcome in any way. I was assured that all activities were optional. During this ceremony there were instances where I was urged and pressured to do things that were expressly against my own healing experience. Aya advised me to continue with my own healing work that was underway and vital to my personal well-being. This involved having to say no several times throughout the night to those who continued to interrupt this process. It was quite a challenge as during the evening there was mounting pressure to participate in activities that others were doing and Aya continued to remind me of the importance and significance of doing what I had chosen to do despite this increasing pressure that ultimately became coercive as it was implied that by simply remaining peacefully in my own experience, I would negatively impact others. I remember feeling so uncomfortable and asking Aya “Isn’t what I’m doing disrespectful?” The response came “That respect goes both ways”. I looked into the eyes of the woman who persisted in the requests I had respectfully declined several times, I saw shifting patterns on her face, and I remember saying to her “There’s no point in me taking this medicine if I ignore what it’s teaching me”. It was a perfect opportunity to integrate the lessons I was being taught about honouring my own experience and not participating in others’ belief systems instead of my own. I want to make it clear that I doubt very much that this is reflective of most or any religious based Ayahuasca experiences. In fact, I’m sure there are many who go to this same center/place and have positive experiences. My unique experience was designed to help me overcome this personal issue and I’m grateful for it.

That night, I continued to learn about the different ways that I would heal and the importance of allowing for my reality as well as the reality of others. It was clear that there is room for more than one reality. It was also clear that although I will use my voice to express what I’ve learned and that it may resonate with some it may also be contrasted by others’ beliefs and opinions. This doesn’t mean that I will be sitting in opposition to others. That was a misconception of my own and perhaps of others. I do not have to participate in that misconception. I can invest in my own beliefs, appreciate and respect others’ beliefs and espouse acceptance of all of this in a harmonious way. The only way to do this is to not insist that because my way of thinking and believing is good for me and others, that everyone else must believe this too. There is room for all beliefs. If we insist on consensus we are inviting conflict.

One of the ways my own healing work may differ from the work many others do has to do with internal interference in the form of dark or harmful energies. During this particular ceremony, the shamans/facilitators were talking about making friends with these darker energies and in so doing turning them into allies. They both removed dark energies and encouraged work that involved befriending some of these elements at work within. Aya pointed out to me that sometimes, with this work, it is an endless attempt to subdue something that is naturally dark and make it something else that is light. Often this existing darkness that is turned into lightness for some of the time, inevitably goes back to darkness at times and this is the struggle that we engage in when we do this work.

What Aya told me that we would do instead would be to say goodbye to the darker energies within and do so with love so that they would dissipate and be replaced by spiritual allies whose nature is love. She asks me to acknowledge my harmful behaviour and look at the reasons for this behaviour and the source or motivation for it. What we discover are fear-based beliefs that result from the influence of the past and of harmful energies or entities that I have created or attracted as a result of these experiences in my past. These creations or entities are not part of who I am. They are a result of wounds that I may heal and once this healing takes place, these entities or creatures of my creation Will dissipate as long as I Will it to be so. I can then use my energy to heal other wounds rather than cultivating a friendship out of these darker energies. It is a choice to do this work in this unique way that is the best way for me as an individual. It does not mean that everyone must do it in this way. It does not mean that people who do it in another way are not valid in doing so. It simply means that this is the work I must do to be well in my own way. This may resonate with others too. We are all very unique and we must all find ways to heal that suits us individually and honours our uniqueness. These ways of healing may differ one from another. This is part of the ecosystem of humanity.

Most of the lessons and messages this night had to do with my tendency to invest in other people’s belief systems over my own and this causes self-harm. We are all geniuses. We form beliefs and find evidence to support these beliefs. Our genius may lie in our ability to discover the genius in others that resonates with own genius. But when we decide that someone is a genius based solely on status, credentials and accolades alone, we are not honouring our inner genius. We are then agreeing that only a limited number of people can be geniuses and that we must choose among them to determine our own belief systems. We are creators. We create our own reality. If you create a reality that you don’t like it is not healthy. If you decide that you must agree with a reality because of someone else’s impressive sales pitch rather than your own impeccable inner knowing, you have created a breech that causes suffering.

If you choose to follow your own inner knowing, you can embody this by stepping into your power and living this reality – simply being the change. If you do this without being drawn into other opposing beliefs, you will deflect harmful and negative reactions of others who may hold different beliefs. No need to defend yourself when you’re standing firmly your power. All this work must be fuelled by love for it to be effective and authentic. It is born out of self-love.

Telepathy, Consciousness and Collective Healing

We hear it said so often “We’re all one” or “We’re all connected” and I think for the most part, many of us accept this but there is still such a mystery as to how this plays out in our daily lives. I know that there are many ways in which this happens and one of the ways this ‘oneness’ can be revealed is through telepathy. My work with Ayahuasca, psychedelics, shamanism and subtle energies has resulted in some profound telepathic experiences in my every day life. It’s not surprising that most of these experiences involve my son as I have a closer connection to him than anyone else in my life. The first time I experienced this telepathic connection in an overt way, was long before I delved deeply into plant medicines or psychedelics but it was after my initial foray into the world of shamanism. Sometimes there can be hints at future events in our lives – like the foreshadowing we see in movies.

My first experience happened on a day that I went walking with my mother and son on a trail that was unfamiliar to me. We were visiting from out of town and during this walk, I began to take some photos. I became immersed in my photography for a while so my mother and son walked ahead. I said I’d catch up but I guess I waited too long and they must have been almost at my mother’s home when I realized that I really didn’t know which way to go to find my way back to them. I began walking in one direction but it felt more and more unfamiliar and a while later, once I realized that I was truly lost, I heard my mother and son calling my name. I soon caught up with them, and my mother explained that my son knew that I was lost. Before they arrived home my son insisted on coming back for me and told her that I was lost. He was maybe around 4 or 5 years old at the time and when I asked him how he knew I was lost he said “I know your heart”, “I was in your tummy”. Both my mother and I were very moved by this experience and it really began to change how I saw our connection. I am still discovering the depths of this connection.

The second time I became aware of this connection in a pronounced way was quite some time after I had begun working with plant medicines and psychedelics. I engaged in shamanic practices before I worked with plant medicines and through shamanic journeying, I experienced an inner connection with a guiding presence. I experienced this guiding presence as a sort of telepathic communication but it was more like insights, downloads and visions rather than the dialogue it became after Ayahuasca. This wise, guiding presence helped me in many ways right up to the point where I began to work with Ayahuasca. After that, this connection became a more pronounced dialogue that has been a guiding influence in my life ever since. I connect with this presence daily and it ‘speaks’ to me very clearly at times and especially, in the middle of the night and through my dreams. All of this led up to my first experience of conscious/intentional telepathic communication with my son.

One night, I was woken up in the middle of the night by this guiding presence/voice and it was responding to the intention/question regarding my son that I had posed earlier. It was suggested to me, that I speak to my son about my concerns. My telepathic reply to this inner voice pointed out the very practical issue of it being the middle of the night and my son was asleep in his room down the hall. The guided response urged me to speak to my son as I was speaking to this presence – to reach out to him telepathically. I did just that and I had only begun to do this (in my mind) when I heard his door open and footsteps coming down the hall. My son came into my room and I was so surprised to see him that I asked out loud “Honey what are you doing here?”. He replied “I couldn’t hear you” and crawled inside my bed and went to sleep. Obviously, he had ‘heard’ me but in a different way. He knew that I had reached out to him telepathically and this was his response.

A few years later, a friend of mine invited me to participate in a scientific experiment (learn more about that here) exploring the phenomenon of telepathy. In this experiment, participants were asked to meditatively connect with hypothalamic mouse neurons. There were sensors attached to these neurons that translated into data that we could see on a computer screen once the attempted connection was completed. My friend, who was also a hypnosis client at one point, gave me instructions that were most unexpected. He asked me to send signals/thoughts to these neurons that were disturbing/upsetting. It was the opposite to what I had anticipated. All of my practices of this nature have involved more peaceful/healing themes and this was quite the challenge. So, once I was set up and left alone to make this telepathic connection, I used my own hypnotic techniques to achieve a deeply relaxed state and reached out in my mind to this wise presence that advised me to make a game of this exercise and enjoy it, reassuring me that I would not harm these neurons. While in this hypnotic/meditative state, I imagined myself as a fiery cartoon character from a popular animated film called Moana. I became this large character walking around the petri dish and singeing the neurons with my feet. I experienced the neurons recoil as I singed them. I did this for the allotted time and once the exercise was over and before we looked at the results, my friend sat down with me to share with me the reason for his request (to ‘upset’ the neurons). He said that many participants had used loving kindness type of meditative thoughts in this experiment in the past without much response but one day, when one of the participants happened to arrive in an angry state, and went ahead with the process none the less, there was a very marked response from the neurons. He showed me the computer screen, displaying the sensor’s output, which looked like the kind of graph they have on machines in hospitals showing someone’s vitals. It represented the results of the entire experiment to date. For the most part, it was flat but there was a large, jagged line going up at one point which was the result of the connection with the angry participant. Then the line was relatively flat until again until it spiked at the end. This time, the line wasn’t jagged, it rose smoothly upwards and this was a result of my little singeing game with the neurons. It was a marked response.

Throughout my relationship with this presence, I have learned a lot about the importance of thoughts, awareness of how they are directed and the impact they have. Typical everyday inner responses impact not only our own experience but they have an effect on others as well. I remember one day as I dropped off my son at school, I walked away with a feeling of heaviness and a kind of worried attachment to him. I remember this wise inner voice saying “leave him be” and I understood that again, this was having an effect and not a positive one. It wasn’t a reprimand, and this heavy feeling I had was an important part of what I was moving through and healing at the time. I was made aware of the fact that I was directing it towards my son in a way that previously, I may not have been conscious of doing. It wouldn’t have occurred to me that this could be harmful but now, given my experiences and discoveries, I realize that all of it has an impact. This is what is meant by the phrase “the energy we’re putting out there”.

The fact that we’re using these phrases suggests a deeper knowing within us. We do know these things on a deeper level. I know now that when I realized that my son knew that I was lost, there was and is a deeper meaning to it. Our children and those who are closest to us, pick up on our feelings, thoughts and moods. I think we all know this but there is more to discover about the nature and degree of this impact, and it’s importance and significance in our daily lives and how things unfold in our world. We are not separate and as much as we’d like to think that we can keep things from one another, on a certain and crucial level, we all feel it. Early on in my experience with this presence, it illustrated this idea by asking me to imagine my thoughts as a digital screen on my forehead so that everyone could see all of these thoughts running through my mind. It was a very effective bit of imagery that taught me a lot and helped me become more aware of my thoughts. Although we may not all be ‘reading minds’ in a literal way, we certainly pick up on quite a lot and the more conscious we are, the more we are doing this. It is an energetic reality that is permeating our experience and once we harness this energy in a positive way, the sky’s the limit.

This understanding of our telepathic connection to one another makes it clear that when we begin to heal and grow on an individual level, it has a very positive ripple effect in our world. For those who are working to improve their relationships with their children, partners, family or colleagues, recognizing this is a good way to start and continue this work. Delving within is a powerful approach to solving most problems in this world. What we sometimes discover is how disconnected we are from ourselves and with this discovery comes the opportunity to change. And when we do, this greater connection to ourselves and to the world around us becomes more evident. Ultimately, what we discover is how just how powerful we are and how to use that power for our personal and collective good.

Personal Growth & Healing Through Hypnosis

The word ‘hypnosis’ often conjures up images of stage performances where people end up clucking like chickens in front of an audience. What does that have to do with personal growth & healing? More than you think. Although hypnosis stage acts may be performed for entertainment purposes, the possibilities that exist within the process behind the act are endless when applied in creative ways for the purpose of healing and assisting us along the path of personal growth.

When we begin to work at improving our lives, our relationships and achieving our goals, we often discover that the real barriers to achieving these goals are not external, they are internal. For those of us who make these discoveries and embark on the path of personal growth, we also learn that much of the harmful programming that was instrumental in creating these inner barriers, began and took hold at a very young age. Most of us are by now, well acquainted with the concept of childhood programming and it’s effects. Throughout early childhood (especially from 0 to 7 years old) we received impressions about ourselves and our world that created beliefs and attitudes that affect our outlook and self-esteem to this day.

As it turns out, a lot of this early programming occurred when our brains were in the ‘Theta’ state. This ‘Theta’ state happens not only during early childhood, it happens when we begin to fall asleep, intermittently throughout the night and before we fully wake. This state is also available to us through hypnosis, which provides amazing opportunities for us to make changes to deeply imbedded programming. In addition to changing our programming, we also have an opportunity, through hypnosis, to access self-knowledge. This can be truly transformative.

If we’re going to make big and lasting changes in our lives, we need to know more about the most crucial and consistent aspect of all of our lived experiences: ourselves. Many philosophers and spiritual leaders over the years have made reference to innate knowledge or the understanding of the soul. They believed that all knowledge exists within us. Hypnosis is a gateway to this innate self-understanding that helps us to improve ourselves and in so doing, to improves our lives. This deeply held awareness is the key to unlock our greatest potential.

I’m sure many of us have heard the phrase “Everything you need is inside of you”. As it turns out, this is true and hypnosis is a powerful way to access our inner resources and to use them to change our lives in profound ways. Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis is an empowering tool. Instead of controlling us, hypnosis can allow us to explore and change the kinds of beliefs and programming that controlled us for years. This powerful process of self-discovery & healing transforms our inner environment, which reflects outward and impacts our lived experience in meaningful ways.

Although there were powerful influences in our lives when we were children and during our ‘formative years’, the power that these influences continue to exert over us is internal. We have internalized these attitudes, beliefs and ideas and this is where change is possible. We have the key. Even our impressions of the past can be altered if we’re open to change. The intention to explore this inner environment is a powerful first step in making these changes a reality.

To discover more about personal transformation through hypnosis, please email me at reach.rebecca@me.com

Please note, I work remotely via Zoom so you will require a computer with a camera and a built-in microphone (which most computers have).

I was Praying To The Wrong Gods. A LESSON IN FOCUS.

Yesterday as I was doing some cleaning, I began to contemplate some problems that I wanted to resolve when this wise, guiding voice entered my mind (as it has often for years now) and said “You’re praying to the wrong Gods”. I then received an insight, which was really a lesson about focus. It was helping me to recognize that I was focusing on (i.e. ‘praying to’) the wrong things. This message was delivered in such a creative way that it completely captured my attention. I was a captive audience for this latest lesson, which was a lesson I have received before in many different forms but somehow now was the time to receive it in this particular way. Reinforcement of these lessons is always a good thing.

I have experienced many stages throughout my path of personal growth and the more open I become, the more I learn and change for the better. Yesterday, I was thinking about my problems in an open enough way for me to receive this insight. There was room for it to happen. Fear makes it difficult to be open and the things I was focusing on were driving me into a state of fear. Thankfully, the guiding voice intervened before I went too far into fear which would have closed me down. Once I received this initial message, I began to think about the Greek and Roman Gods I had learned about in school and through independent reading, and I wondered if our ancestors received these kinds of messages too. I began to think about the kind of ‘Gods’ I would ‘pray’ to and sure enough, these interesting figures appeared in my mind when I thought about things like good relationships, prosperity and so on. I had created and/or connected to a ‘God’ for each of these concepts. I now know that although things do present themselves to me out of the blue like this wise voice, my responses and this interaction can become a creative one, which is also a lesson in manifestation and how we create our own reality.

The point is, for the rest of the day, instead of thinking about my problems and how to resolve them, I began to open up to solutions. My focus was no longer on problems or strategies, it was on the feelings of achieving the things I wished to and being in a better state to receive insights aligned with this better state. It may seem like a subtle difference but it’s not. My old Gods were the Gods of problems – I was ‘praying’ to lack of this or that. I’m now praying to the Gods of love, prosperity, peace, health, joy, energy and inspiration. When my mind begins to spend time focusing on these things or these ‘Gods’, my mood changes for the better and I’m sure my health does too – heart rate and so on. I’m sending a signal out to the world that indicates my intentions more clearly.

From all of my experience through my dialogue with this wise, higher level of consciousness that has been readily available to me since my first Ayahuasca retreat, I began to realize that there’s a whole other form of communication that is available to all of us. It’s a form of communication that takes place in the mind and goes out into the world. We’re all participating in that dialogue, we just aren’t necessarily aware of it. Becoming aware of it is an empowering thing because suddenly, we have a new way of operating intentionally in this life. I shudder to think of the messages I had been sending out into the world when I was depressed. I know these messages all too well and I was so steeped in them that I don’t think there was room for the kinds of insights I receive now. However, that long-term depression I entered into years ago led me to the plant medicines and tools that serve me very well to this day. In the end, I was grateful for that difficult time which led me to the path I’m on now. Where I was then was just as valid and important as where I am now.

During this long, unfolding path of personal growth, I have received many messages and insights regarding the mind and how to change the atmosphere of the mind. Every stage of this work has it’s own tone and purpose. The work that needed to be done three years ago was different than what needs to happen now. I would be introduced to these concepts in different ways depending on the state I was in. This message yesterday was such a playful one and I had a delightful time reaching out to these new ‘Gods’ in my mind and seeing what my imagination and higher consciousness produced in response. What I can say is that my day became a lot more fun and my outlook improved substantially.

Outlook is important. We look out into the world through a lens and although my lens continues to improve, it still does, at times, become clouded with older habits – mild as they are, they still have impact. Yesterday, I had a lens cleaning as I was cleaning my home and was provided with some new, creative filters. My new Gods of Love, Peace, Energy, Health and Prosperity are now filling my mind and although I will try to focus on them one at a time, I know that they are all available to me. I simply have to give them an opportunity to be there and replace the Gods of problems, conflict and all of the other things I don’t wish to fill my mind, my life and my world. I must allow these other Gods to exit my mind. The re-organization of my mind is an ongoing process I have engaged in and approached in different ways for years now and my life has changed for the better as a result.

Throughout my experiences with this higher consciousness, a consistent theme has presented itself over and over again, which is that the nature of our experience in this world is a responsive one. The experience we have in this life is one that is constantly adjusting and responding to our state. My very first, burning question for Ayahuasca was “What is the nature of reality?”. Her response: “Reality is flexible.” “Your reality is due to your state.” Thinking about this now, I realize that spending time thinking about and reaching out to the Gods of Love, Joy, Prosperity, Health, Creativity and Peace improved my state immensely. Is it all just imagination? It could be. And what an incredibly powerful tool it is! All of the solid things we rely on today originated in the imagination before they were created. Our imagination has the power to create. Imagine the world we would live in if we created from the state of Love?

I believe that all of these Gods are available to everyone and if you open up to them, they may present themselves in ways that are very unique to who you are. Instead of reaching out in your mind to the Gods of love, prosperity and health, you may prefer to imagine these realities unfolding in your life. This is where these ‘prayers’ ultimately lead while dissolving these other less pleasant ‘Gods’. If you make room for them, they may change your mind and your outlook for the better. If you’re not ready to embrace these positive ‘Gods’ just now, be gentle with yourself and know that they are available to you when you are ready.

Hypnosis & Psychedelic/Plant Medicine Integration

From the earliest stages of my foray into shamanism, my intention was to heal and the first message or insight I received in response to my intention was “everything you need is inside of you”. It’s not an original notion but I didn’t take it as seriously as I began to once I embarked on the shamanic path of healing which ultimately involved plant medicines and psychedelics. It was an essential theme for inner work and personal growth that helped me to put my focus where it needed to be – within. That was 10 years ago and it has served me well. I have experienced many plant medicines, psychedelics, shamanic healings/retreats and used many tools along the way and all of them confirmed the fact that changing from within was the most powerful way to change my life experience for the better.

I then began to search for the best tool to help others to do this kind of work. I searched for something that resonated with me and that honoured this most essential theme of focusing within to bring about changes in one’s life. I was very surprised to discover that hypnosis answered this description and served as the ultimate tool for plant medicine and psychedelic integration. Like many, I often perceived hypnosis as a disempowering practice that was used to control others but this was a misconception. In fact, I had many misconceptions about psychedelics, spirituality and even shamanism as well, probably due to how it was represented in the media and in other ways that I had been exposed to throughout my life. What a revelation it was to discover how empowering and transformative hypnosis could be! It was a pleasant surprise and I still marvel at the power of it and how much it has changed so many people’s lives for the better including my own.

After studying and working with hypnosis the shamanic applications of it were so evident, it seems to me now that it must have been inspired by the ancient practice of shamanic journeying and meditation. In my experience and practice, hypnosis is a powerful combination of both and it’s the ideal integration method. Hypnosis can be used as a tool of self-discovery, which allows us to not only deeply explore our inner world but to begin to heal it. It allows us to discover inner programming and to change it for the better. It can also serve to facilitate a connection to higher consciousness to gain invaluable insights and this has unlimited potential. Sound familiar? It is very much like the experiences we have with plant medicines and psychedelics. In fact, it’s possible to revisit psychedelic and plant medicine experiences through hypnotic journeying. It’s a fascinating and transformative experience as it reveals to us our own unlimited potential and helps us to continue the journey we began with plant medicines and psychedelics. It is also a practice that we can begin to cultivate and do independently. As any truly empowering tool does, it engenders a sense of personal power, personal responsibility and unlimited possibilities.

Hypnosis testimonials

“If it wasn’t for the undeniable synchronicities that led me to Rebecca, I wouldn’t have imagined myself as someone to seek out counselling or therapy. I place a lot of faith in meditation and self-guided practises, and believe the answers we seek are present within ourselves – we don’t need to seek them from external sources. While this has served me vey well for many difficult years of my life, I recognized that I had reached a point where I was stuck and couldn’t identify what it was that was holding me back. After a couple of sessions with Rebecca I felt my mind had been gently trained to free itself from the many busy thoughts that hold us back from connecting with our subconscious self. I was able to tap into deeper states of relaxation that facilitated the deep inner work, which helped reveal the self-limiting beliefs I had around wealth and influence. Rebecca was very intuitive in guiding my inward journey, and very gentle in helping me embrace more wholesome and empowering ideologies. To help me continue realigning my beliefs while outside of our sessions, she provided me with guided self-hypnosis recordings that I could play anytime through the day, and particularly before bed. These powerful personalized recordings were designed very thoughtfully and thoroughly, and very soon I started to experience a generalized sense of wellness and confidence. As I continue my sessions and continue to peel back the layers of the onion that is my psyche, I want to express my gratitude for the transformative work Rebecca is doing through her hypnosis sessions!”

Dr. Vedant Arun, Medical Bio-Physicist

“I worked with Rebecca in Hypnotherapy in fall 2019. In the sessions, I was able to feel peace and even have healing experiences. Rebecca is very knowledgeable in her craft and able to integrate her other plant medicine experiences as part of the coaching experience as well. She is very patient and open minded, providing a safe and comfortable space for me to freely explore and experience. Her voice is very soothing and led me into a trance that I wasn’t able to experience before. If you are interested in trying hypnotherapy, you will be in great hands with Rebecca. I also thoroughly enjoy her podcast as it can be a very good complement to her sessions. Happy journeying!”

Lu Wang, Business Consultant

I have been working with Rebecca for about 6 months at this point. I initially came to her for help with longer-term integration of my experiences with plant medicines. After a couple of rough journeys, I was actually fairly terrified of the whole process, and was reassured by listening to her podcasts.

After our first communications led me to ask for guidance and help via (remote) hypnotherapy, her compassionate presence and her insight helped me feel wonderfully supported as I continued to explore the process and broader journey. Her heartfelt efforts have helped me to gain both more understanding of and peace with the path I’m on. Specifically, she’s helped me to feel the loving side of the Grandmother, and helped prepare me for journeys by teaching self-hypnosis to improve my focus on intentions.

Her techniques are grounded and heartfelt, and her openness and compassion are palpable. Rebecca helps me to bridge my rather concrete allopathic training with these experiences, and to improve that which is my daily practice of living. I’m grateful for having found her and for the experiences she’s led me through, and looking forward to further exploration and growth.

Internist, Texas

If you are interested in working with me to discover your inner resources through hypnosis, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

Please note, I work remotely via Zoom which will require a computer with a camera and a built-in microphone (which most computers have).

Ayahuasca Helped Me Explore My Thoughts Then Said: “Tell Them”

During my daily dialogue with this inner teacher that has been available to me following my first Ayahuasca retreat, there have been many lessons around my thought patterns and some of the best lessons came when I was actually in ceremony (after ingesting the brew).. or so I thought. The reason I thought this was because during ceremony, I didn’t have my usual defence mechanisms at play – I was a captive audience. However, during one particularly memorable ceremony, Ayahuasca deliberately allowed my thoughts to occur as they normally would and used this opportunity to show me how I allowed my thoughts to get in the way of doing the things I wanted to do in my life. She literally showed me these thoughts as they occurred right after she had encouraged me to consider doing something wonderful. My conception of this wonderful endeavour was inevitably followed by thoughts that belittled this idea and made it seem not realistic or unlikely to succeed. Ayahuasca then pointed out how these thoughts themselves were the barriers I faced – not the subject or content of the thoughts, just the actual thoughts themselves. Then Ayahuasca said “Tell Them!” in an emphatic way.

This is not the first time that Ayahuasca has asked me to pass on messages, teachings and urged me to talk about the things I’ve experienced and learned. During a ceremony previous to the one described above, the usually abundant dialogue with Ayahuasca was very sparse and after a short lesson about how I create my own barriers (one of her favourite subjects) I heard “We will speak through you” and then I purged in a way that I won’t soon forget (and unfortunately, nether will the others in the clean up crew). Other than the obvious discomfort of the purge and the rigors of the medicine experience itself, it sounds like an easy thing to do, to share these teachings, but it wasn’t for me. I felt that I had to sufficiently address these issues myself before I could pass along these messages and teach what I was learning. But what did I consider to be sufficient? It was a yardstick that just kept growing and I could never measure up.

I had always been rather critical of spiritual teachers – probably because somewhere inside of me, I knew that I was one myself. My expectations of them were extremely high and this is one of the many lessons in the form of cosmic jokes that I’ve encountered on this integrative journey with Ayahuasca. It’s a good thing that I have a sense of humour – it comes in handy. Every time I’ve judged people in my life it has come back to haunt me and I’ve been humbled on many fronts. This particular judgement was the most difficult because it became a barrier to my own calling. How could I teach if I was so self-critical that I could never live up to my own standards? It was more than a barrier – it was a trap. I managed to make it seem so righteous. Ayahuasca was not impressed.

Well, I’m over it. One thing I always admired in teachers was their willingness to continue to learn and this is something I can honestly say that I’m always doing. Ayahuasca is my constant teacher and one of the best lessons yet was one she offered to help me to address my misgivings about moving forward with teaching. She let me know that due to this constant inner guidance, my awareness of my thoughts – including the ones that are harmful – is heightened. As I continue to move beyond my comfort zones, it inevitably involves contending with the thoughts that protest this move. She kindly points out to me that this is a sign of growth and progress in my life. If I wasn’t constantly moving beyond my comfort zones, I would not have to face and address or traverse these protesting thoughts that intervene. The point is to not let them take over and dominate my decisions or feelings about what I’m doing.

Ultimately, I hope to rest between major shifts outside of my comfort zones. In the meantime, I have decided to regard these periods of discomfort as badges of honour and to move forward with teaching, knowing that we’re all learning together. All I can do as a teacher is to pass on what I learn. This is all any teacher can do and it’s not only teachers who do this. I learn from everyone and what I hope to inspire people to do is to discover the ultimate teacher – the teacher within.

If you’d like to learn more about personal growth & spiritual connection through hypnotic journeying, please email me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

The Story of Our Keys: Ayahuasca Wisdom on Personal Power

During my ceremonies with Ayahuasca, like so many others, I had a dialogue with a higher form of consciousness that we call Ayahuasca. When I returned from the jungle, the dialogue continued. During one ceremony, Ayahuasca asked me to put pencil to paper and when I did, the following allegorical story emerged about the nature of our personal power and how we may use it either to build barriers or to create ‘new worlds’. In essence, it’s about how we create our own reality:

Your Keys

You carry a key inside of you, and that key opens the doors of the world that you create. You are creating new worlds all the time and using your key to enter those worlds. The key must remain with you so that you may have access to these new worlds. If you give that key away you lose access.

Giving Your Key Away

Given the importance of this key, it must remain within you. If you give away your key, you give away access to those new worlds–new possibilities. Once the key leaves you, the ability to enter those new worlds resides outside of you. If you put that key into someone else’s hands you have given that person your own access to these new worlds and possibilities. Once this happens your dependency on that person begins. This dependency often breeds resentment. This resentment is the foundation of structures called barriers. We build these structures that encompass our fears of using our own keys. Our focus shifts from these new possibilities to the keeper of the keys.

The Keeper of the Keys

This keeper is now in possession of the key to these new possibilities. This possession is never permanent. It is an illusion supported by the owners of the keys. This illusion becomes more powerful as the focus on the keeper grows. The keepers of the keys are now reviled by the owners because the keepers are restricting access or building worlds that the owners don’t like. This creates conflict.

The Key Owner’s Dilemma

Being convinced that the keepers now own the keys, the owners feel powerless. Every time the owner begins to build a new world this same owner destroys it in the name of the keeper always placing the responsibility for this destruction solely on the shoulders of the keeper. The owner’s frustration builds. How can the owner be expected to create a new world when the keeper stands in the way?

The New Owner’s Thoughts

Now that the keys have no real home having been discarded by the owners and never truly residing with the keeper, the keys constitute an immense unused power. This power is needed and desired by every owner and yet remains unused. The keys are illuminated every time someone breaks out this trap. Those who break free not only see the keys at everyone’s disposal, they also see the multitude of keys to the endless new worlds that they may build.

These are not only the new owners but the true owners as they acknowledge where the true power lies. The new owners see not only the possibilities but the endless struggle of those who deny ownership of their keys. This is a dilemma indeed. How can they help the other owners and keepers to see the reality of the natural and true state of the keys? They must show this by using their own keys to build new worlds in hopes that others will be inspired to claim ownership of their own keys. This is the path to freedom.

This is only an excerpt of ‘The Story of Our Keys’ that continues to unfold. I wrote this story but a higher form of consciousness is the author. I learned a great deal from writing this story and continue to learn more each time I write and each time I read it. It is becoming a book. I will self-publish if necessary, but I would like to find a publisher who is inspired to take this on. Through this work, I have begun to see that our world is filled with unusual and inspiring things if we’re willing to see them and most importantly, to create them.

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