Tag: Ayahuasca

What if…

What if this life is a very different experience than you thought it was? These are the kinds of questions that we begin to ask during and after plant medicine and psychedelic experiences. Yes, there are the specific insights about ourselves and things that help us heal in the moment but the bigger picture questions are inspired by the fact that we can even have these experiences that are so expansive and beyond what we thought was possible in this reality. Did we dip into another reality? While our body remained in this one? Some people may see it that way and it’s an interesting idea but what serves most is to consider the fact that we’ve just been introduced to the idea that there’s so much more to this experience we call ‘life’ than we realized.

What if our thoughts (which the medicines/psychedelics/higher consciousness love to focus on to help us improve our experience) are far more powerful than we had imagined? What if we can harness these thoughts to create a better experience for ourselves? What if all of those things in life that we think are in our way are illusions? What if we begin to consider our thoughts to be navigational tools for this life? Now there’s a thought. 😉 That’s a very promising thought to follow. Where do you want to go in your life? Whether it’s a place or a situation or feeling, using your thoughts to navigate would be a very interesting approach but the ‘feeling’ is really, your ultimate destination because if you want to go to Italy and end up there and miserable, you would be quite disappointed no? Time for a new destination?

We often pursue psychedelics and plant medicines with intentions around feeling better and are introduced to very different ways of perceiving our lives in response to this intention/request. We have these revelational and profound moments of insight and then end up back in the lives we created from our previous perceptions of what this life is and how it works (or doesn’t ;-). So, then it’s time to navigate towards a life that better reflects this new understanding and although there is work to be done on the outside, the greater and more impactful work happens from the inside out. We walk away from these experiences often feeling wonderful and we don’t want that to wear off. Eventually, after getting back into our lives, it often does wear off to some degree and so we then try to set our sights on achieving that feeling again. Changing ourselves and how we think of life and how we approach it in our minds and hearts is the course we set to achieving that feeling again.

Returning to the wondrous question of ‘what if’ is a good way back to that good feeling. Keep the doors of ‘what if’ open inside of you. The kinds of ‘what if’ questions that acknowledge the incredible power we have that these experiences constantly hint at. These are the ‘what if’ highways that lead to new and better ways of living and thinking of this experience we call ‘life’.

What if we could to tap into amazing inner states through hypnotic journeying that help us begin and continue on that path of insights, healing, clarity & personal growth? Connect with me directly at reach.rebecca@me.com to find out more.

A Gateway to the Soul

Through plant medicine and psychedelic experiences, we discover a gateway to the soul, to the universe and to the inner world that is our psyche which is so incredibly vast that we could spend a lifetime exploring it and still have so much to uncover. Many believe that plant medicines/psychedelics are the gateway to the soul, but as it turns out, WE are the gateway. I have had, and have facilitated, many spectacular journeys for people who are looking to integrate their psychedelic experiences  (and even for those who have never had psychedelics) and these inner journeys happen without any substances. This doesn’t mean that psychedelics aren’t a wondrous path to the soul or the psyche – they certainly are – but it’s also wondrous to discover that we can continue (or begin) the incredible journey to ourselves in other ways. Through these inner journeys, we can learn how to honour all of the important discoveries we made through plant medicines/psychedelics. In essence, we can learn how to honour ourselves.

Journeying is such a powerful element of integration because it’s experiential. In addition to discussing the new road we’re traveling due to plant medicines/psychedelics, the revelations continue as we become more and more guided by that unique and sacred inner realm which can also be weird and wonderful – truly reminiscent of the p experience. Once we become more familiar with that inner world, we feel more comfortable checking in with it and being aware of its role in our experience of daily life. This is ultimately what we hope to achieve through integration and to navigate our lives in better ways by creating a stronger connection to that inner world that reflects outward.

To learn more about hypnotic journeying, book a free discovery call by emailing: rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

Telepathy, Consciousness and Collective Healing

We hear it said so often “We’re all one” or “We’re all connected” and I think for the most part, many of us accept this but there is still such a mystery as to how this plays out in our daily lives. I know that there are many ways in which this happens and one of the ways this ‘oneness’ can be revealed is through telepathy. My work with Ayahuasca, psychedelics, shamanism and subtle energies has resulted in some profound telepathic experiences in my every day life. It’s not surprising that most of these experiences involve my son as I have a closer connection to him than anyone else in my life. The first time I experienced this telepathic connection in an overt way, was long before I delved deeply into plant medicines or psychedelics but it was after my initial foray into the world of shamanism. Sometimes there can be hints at future events in our lives – like the foreshadowing we see in movies.

My first experience happened on a day that I went walking with my mother and son on a trail that was unfamiliar to me. We were visiting from out of town and during this walk, I began to take some photos. I became immersed in my photography for a while so my mother and son walked ahead. I said I’d catch up but I guess I waited too long and they must have been almost at my mother’s home when I realized that I really didn’t know which way to go to find my way back to them. I began walking in one direction but it felt more and more unfamiliar and a while later, once I realized that I was truly lost, I heard my mother and son calling my name. I soon caught up with them, and my mother explained that my son knew that I was lost. Before they arrived home my son insisted on coming back for me and told her that I was lost. He was maybe around 4 or 5 years old at the time and when I asked him how he knew I was lost he said “I know your heart”, “I was in your tummy”. Both my mother and I were very moved by this experience and it really began to change how I saw our connection. I am still discovering the depths of this connection.

The second time I became aware of this connection in a pronounced way was quite some time after I had begun working with plant medicines and psychedelics. I engaged in shamanic practices before I worked with plant medicines and through shamanic journeying, I experienced an inner connection with a guiding presence. I experienced this guiding presence as a sort of telepathic communication but it was more like insights, downloads and visions rather than the dialogue it became after Ayahuasca. This wise, guiding presence helped me in many ways right up to the point where I began to work with Ayahuasca. After that, this connection became a more pronounced dialogue that has been a guiding influence in my life ever since. I connect with this presence daily and it ‘speaks’ to me very clearly at times and especially, in the middle of the night and through my dreams. All of this led up to my first experience of conscious/intentional telepathic communication with my son.

One night, I was woken up in the middle of the night by this guiding presence/voice and it was responding to the intention/question regarding my son that I had posed earlier. It was suggested to me, that I speak to my son about my concerns. My telepathic reply to this inner voice pointed out the very practical issue of it being the middle of the night and my son was asleep in his room down the hall. The guided response urged me to speak to my son as I was speaking to this presence – to reach out to him telepathically. I did just that and I had only begun to do this (in my mind) when I heard his door open and footsteps coming down the hall. My son came into my room and I was so surprised to see him that I asked out loud “Honey what are you doing here?”. He replied “I couldn’t hear you” and crawled inside my bed and went to sleep. Obviously, he had ‘heard’ me but in a different way. He knew that I had reached out to him telepathically and this was his response.

A few years later, a friend of mine invited me to participate in a scientific experiment (learn more about that here) exploring the phenomenon of telepathy. In this experiment, participants were asked to meditatively connect with hypothalamic mouse neurons. There were sensors attached to these neurons that translated into data that we could see on a computer screen once the attempted connection was completed. My friend, who was also a hypnosis client at one point, gave me instructions that were most unexpected. He asked me to send signals/thoughts to these neurons that were disturbing/upsetting. It was the opposite to what I had anticipated. All of my practices of this nature have involved more peaceful/healing themes and this was quite the challenge. So, once I was set up and left alone to make this telepathic connection, I used my own hypnotic techniques to achieve a deeply relaxed state and reached out in my mind to this wise presence that advised me to make a game of this exercise and enjoy it, reassuring me that I would not harm these neurons. While in this hypnotic/meditative state, I imagined myself as a fiery cartoon character from a popular animated film called Moana.  I became this large character walking around the petri dish and singeing the neurons with my feet. I experienced the neurons recoil as I singed them. I did this for the allotted time and once the exercise was over and before we looked at the results, my friend sat down with me to share with me the reason for his request (to ‘upset’ the neurons). He said that many participants had used loving kindness type of meditative thoughts in this experiment in the past without much response but one day, when one of the participants happened to arrive in an angry state, and went ahead with the process none the less, there was a very marked response from the neurons. He showed me the computer screen, displaying the sensor’s output, which looked like the kind of graph they have on machines in hospitals showing someone’s vitals.  It represented the results of the entire experiment to date. For the most part, it was flat but there was a large, jagged line going up at one point which was the result of the connection with the angry participant. Then the line was relatively flat until again until it spiked at the end. This time, the line wasn’t jagged, it rose smoothly upwards and this was a result of my little singeing game with the neurons. It was a marked response.

Throughout my relationship with this presence, I have learned a lot about the importance of thoughts, awareness of how they are directed and the impact they have. Typical everyday inner responses impact not only our own experience but they have an effect on others as well. I remember one day as I dropped off my son at school, I walked away with a feeling of heaviness and a kind of worried attachment to him. I remember this wise inner voice saying “leave him be” and I understood that again, this was having an effect and not a positive one. It wasn’t a reprimand, and this heavy feeling I had was an important part of what I was moving through and healing at the time. I was made aware of the fact that I was directing it towards my son in a way that previously, I may not have been conscious of doing. It wouldn’t have occurred to me that this could be harmful but now, given my experiences and discoveries, I realize that all of it has an impact. This is what is meant by the phrase “the energy we’re putting out there”.

The fact that we’re using these phrases suggests a deeper knowing within us. We do know these things on a deeper level. I know now that when I realized that my son knew that I was lost, there was and is a deeper meaning to it. Our children and those who are closest to us, pick up on our feelings, thoughts and moods. I think we all know this but there is more to discover about the nature and degree of this impact, and it’s importance and significance in our daily lives and how things unfold in our world. We are not separate and as much as we’d like to think that we can keep things from one another, on a certain and crucial level, we all feel it. Early on in my experience with this presence, it illustrated this idea by asking me to imagine my thoughts as a digital screen on my forehead so that everyone could see all of these thoughts running through my mind. It was a very effective bit of imagery that taught me a lot and helped me become more aware of my thoughts. Although we may not all be ‘reading minds’ in a literal way, we certainly pick up on quite a lot and the more conscious we are, the more we are doing this. It is an energetic reality that is permeating our experience and once we harness this energy in a positive way, the sky’s the limit.

This understanding of our telepathic connection to one another makes it clear that when we begin to heal and grow on an individual level, it has a very positive ripple effect in our world. For those who are working to improve their relationships with their children, partners, family or colleagues, recognizing this is a good way to start and continue this work. Delving within is a powerful approach to solving most problems in this world. What we sometimes discover is how disconnected we are from ourselves and with this discovery comes the opportunity to change. And when we do, this greater connection to ourselves and to the world around us becomes more evident.  Ultimately, what we discover is how just how powerful we are and how to use that power for our personal and collective good.

Ayahuasca: The Grandmother Who Helped Me to Become a Better Mother

Ayahuasca is a South American Medicine that takes the form of a tea usually brewed from two different plants but variations abound. Ayahuasca is often referred to as a plant medicine, an entheogen and a ‘teacher plant’. For me, this last description resonates deeply. Ayahuasca is used in ceremonies that are conducted in a shamanic tradition that dates back thousands of years. It is now used also in religious ceremonies and many other kinds of ceremonies that are often influenced to varying degrees by shamanic traditions. It was originally only drank by shamans who would do so as a means to cultivate their own skills as healers, leaders and wisdom keepers. The shaman would drink the brew and ‘journey’ – enter an altered state of consciousness – to gain insight into some issue or to receive guidance as to how a problem or condition might be addressed. Shamans might also do this with many other intentions. There is a whole world of variations when it comes to this practice and the intentions and nature of the shamans involved in it. They are human and come from many different tribes and communities worldwide with varying traditions, histories and ideologies.

Today, there are many people worldwide, many from the West pursuing this form of medicine. People are drinking Ayahuasca and having transformational experiences. There have been many fascinating stories about spiritual visions, physical and emotional healings and profound insights. These are important stories that only begin to scratch the surface of what is possible when we open up to this higher intelligence or source of wisdom – whatever description resonates with you would be the one to follow. If I’ve learned anything through my own extensive experiences with this medicine, it’s to not get hung up on these words.

I pursued plant medicines to address a very deep depression I had been suffering from for years. I had suffered on and off from depression throughout my life to varying degrees and many people can relate to some of the experiences I’d had with it. Then came the deeper version that devastated me. Ultimately, I became reclusive and had shut down. Far too many people can relate to this state these days and I think that this is why people are flocking to the jungle to try the medicine that addresses these conditions very differently than prescriptions that attempt to mask the problem. The reason why shamanic medicine is so unpredictable is because it seeks to address the deeper issues behind the conditions that are actually symptoms telling us that something is wrong. Ayahuasca reveals very clearly just how unique we are and what very personal issues we need to address. It is just the beginning of the healing journey.

Underlying these very personal, unique issues, are some universal messages that deep down, we all know. The message of self-love and of approaching the world with love and that our world is what we make it. These things, deep down, we know are true. What each person needs to understand and address in their own lives so that they may live the truth of these messages, well, that’s the adventure we call the healing path.  It has been and continues to be one of the greatest adventures of my life. In fact, it has turned my life into an adventure because for me, the experience of Ayahuasca continues daily.

In 2013 I began my shamanic training which at that time, did not involve plant medicines. It involved journeying and connecting with a higher level of consciousness that began to teach me about myself which helped me to prepare for my work with plant medicines the following year. In 2015, after having begun my work with plant medicines a year before, I realized the power they held and decided to continue this journey. I had already experienced an African plant medicine called Iboga and as a result of my experience with it, I managed to pull myself out of depression enough to make some huge life changes that took a great deal of energy and courage. Once this was done, I knew that I had only just begun. I explored another powerful plant medicine, Peyote in the Mexican desert and after returning home from this experience, I began to make plans to attend an Ayahuasca retreat in the jungle in Peru. As I began the considerable preparations for this trip, I started to think about the kinds of things I wanted to know. I had enough experience with these medicines to know that there was a phenomenon at work here that provided me with an opportunity for the kind of learning that just wasn’t available to me through any other source. As I wrote down my ‘intentions’ – the things I wanted to accomplish through this retreat which of course were all healing oriented intentions – I also had questions rolling around in my head at this time. These questions pertained to the nature of reality. Was it possible to discover the nature of reality through these experiences?

When I arrived in the jungle, I felt that I had come home. I immediately wanted to go barefoot and after grappling with my own hesitations about doing this the ants came to the rescue. They took over my shoes which forced me to go barefoot for three days. I loved this experience. I loved the feel of my feet connecting with the earth through the soft jungle floor. I loved the lizards and the frogs and the atmosphere of wonder all around me. I loved the warmth of the people and the mystery surrounding the medicine experience. I loved the hug that Ayahuasca gave me when she showed up in my first experience in the form of a large, magnificent insect with wings and six legs that she used to give me a warm and thorough embrace.

A dialogue quickly began between us which started with her response to the question I had in my mind about the nature of reality weeks earlier while I was writing out my intentions for this retreat. It was my first lesson in a way. Before the retreat, I was writing out the kinds of intentions I thought I should have but in my mind, my deeper desire and natural curiosity about reality was what Ayahuasca responded to. Our thoughts are powerful and Ayahuasca responds to them. In fact, I have come to understand that our experiences in life are very responsive in this way. While in ceremony, it soon became clear that my connection with Ayahuasca had existed for quite a long time before this first night of drinking the brew. Ayahuasca, which is often experienced as a feminine presence and referred to as the ‘Mother’ or ‘Grandmother’, took me into a dream that I had a long time ago and showed me that we had interacted in that dream, much like we were doing in ceremony. Our dialogue continued throughout the two weeks that I was there in the jungle and thus began my real education. Little did I know then that this would become my new, everyday reality.

After returning home, I was in the shower looking at my feet, and contemplating something one of the facilitators had told me while I was in the jungle. The facilitator had noticed that I was going barefoot and she told me that we have more pores in our feet than anywhere else on our body. I was thinking of this interesting fact in the shower while looking at my feet and suddenly I heard “that’s how they knew how to get home”. It was an Ayahuasca moment. I knew that I was receiving a history lesson (something that often happens in ceremony) about how early indigenous people navigated their world. My dialogue with Ayahuasca had commenced again and continued daily (and nightly) for me ever since.

It’s one thing to receive lessons, insights, wisdom and advice while in ceremony in the jungle and quite another to receive these on the spot lessons while living your life and making all of the ‘mistakes’ that we often make in the course of a day. Of course they aren’t really mistakes and that’s one of the many lessons that I continue to learn. I’m grateful to have this guidance in my life but it is an enormous challenge at times and although I would never wish it away, it has often been something I felt I couldn’t quite live up to. These are the kinds of thoughts that I am learning to dismiss in favour of being more self-supportive so that my life is a reflection of this more self-loving state. One of the responses Ayahuasca gave me to the question of the nature of reality was “Your reality is due to your state”. Ever since then, we’ve been working together on improving my state and in so doing, improving my reality.

In the following weeks and months, I discovered that not only did my state affect my own reality, it affected my son’s reality profoundly. This was one of the great motivations I had to heal – so that I could become a better mother to my son. I had been depressed on and off since he was born and fell into a deeper and deeper depression during his early years. I had a harrowing experience in the hospital both during his birth and afterwards. At one point, I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn’t leave the hospital if I didn’t take matters into my own hands. When I did, things improved to the point where I could leave the hospital and finally be with my newborn son who had been separated from me at birth. I experienced that very same conviction just before I began to move out of my depression – I had to take matters into my own hands.

I had been living separately from my son’s father for six months before I took my trip to Peru and our son was living with each of us half the time. It was a huge adjustment for all of us and I now had the greatest support of all – the support of the Grandmother. At the beginning, I had to take matters in hand in terms of letting my son know that I was his mother and that he needed to acknowledge me as a firmly guiding presence in his life. This was not easy as I had been so much in the background before then, while I was ill, and all I wanted to do was to be with him in a way that was not so challenging. That wasn’t working out so well as I discovered and the challenges were going to be there regardless of how hard I tried to ignore them.

Both my son and I went through a long and ever changing period of growth together. It was humbling, rewarding and astonishing as I was continually guided through these changes. It continues to this day but becomes different as we grow. I always let my son know that I’m learning too and growing with him. Never in my life have I felt more like a child than I have since the presence of Ayahuasca entered my life. I’m constantly learning about things I need to do differently and asked to be compassionate with myself about what I perceive as ‘mistakes’. I am continually encouraged to do better and always counselled with love. I pass this onto my son as much as I can so really, I am both child and parent.

I became a better parent when I began to recognize my own need to learn and grow and to acknowledge when I was doing things that were not helping me to move in the direction I wanted to go. I’ve passed these lessons onto my son and this takes time, conviction and patience. Time is something that parents seem to have less and less of in the kind of 9-5, highly scheduled life that has been the norm for so long but now, many of us have an opportunity to create a different schedule. I never went back to that 9-5 schedule after plant medicines and my life and relationships improved substantially as a result.

I’ve had to prioritize time over schedule to accomplish some of the things I needed to do to teach my son in a way that I felt good about. It came to the point where I knew that punishing my son (in any way) was not only ineffective, there was a reason that I felt so bad about it. After the insights I had gleaned from delving into my own issues that were born out of my past, I realized that I was laying down the blueprints for my son’s future relationships. Would I punish him for doing something that was ‘wrong’ or would I sit down with him and have a discussion that could teach him in a way that helped him to discover that this behaviour did not serve him? I was being gently guided in a loving way and I was certainly going to do this with my son no matter how much it might interfere with a schedule I had no hand in creating. Time to begin to create a new schedule.

As a parent, when I became involved in addressing my son’s behaviour, I was surprised at the power of the pull towards mimicking my parent’s methods. This happened sometimes before I had a chance to think. My mother’s or father’s words would come straight out of my mouth in response to something my son was doing and it was frightening. I began to wonder how often this had happened with my parents too. After all, they had five children. Did they ever really have the time to reflect on any of this? I know that once they took time out it was for each other, to save their marriage and in the end, I know that they did this for us too. Even so, there were repercussions. Taking time for themselves (which translated into ultimately helping others in similar situations) meant that they were away many weekends during which my older brothers had free reign at home and they were not ready for this responsibility to say the least.

I know that I’m not alone in struggling at times to achieve a healthy balance between the needs of parent and child. Not everyone’s needs are the same and that’s the reason why it’s sometimes difficult to achieve this balance in a system that is normative based. What this spiritual grandmother has taught me is that if I base my future behaviour on what I considered to be normal in my past, I was not going to grow (or thrive for that matter). The simplicity of these lessons is one of the many humbling aspects of this journey. However, easy as it seems, what’s difficult is applying it in your life when all around you, the norm prevails. This is where the warrior steps in.

Many use the term warrior to describe those of us who have embarked on this unique journey of personal growth.  I balked at this term initially but as the challenges presented themselves, one after another, I began to warm to the concept. How else was I to describe the strength it took to continue when everything seemed to be against me except for these words of wisdom and this deep, aching desire for change? It takes courage to continue on this path and this is why I now embrace the concept of the warrior. Mostly it’s a courageous aspect of myself that acknowledges the battle within the mind and within oneself. To me, the warrior represents the strength it takes to move through the changes that are required to achieve a better state. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, I’m asked to focus on creating what I do want and to move towards it in my mind, in my heart and in my actions. Essentially, I’m asked to be the change I want to see in the world and in my life. If I ask my son to do this, I must be willing to show him how it’s done and to admit it when I find myself veering off the path.

It’s been and continues to be a challenging, rewarding and magical journey with mother and grandmother Ayahuasca. It tests my endurance, courage and strength but always gives me more strength, courage and a greater capacity to endure and most importantly a greater capacity to love. The nature of the education I have received and continue to receive from Ayahuasca goes beyond pedagogy and becomes a sort of way of life. Our lives are the ceremony if we open up to this possibility. This whole experience of life is an opportunity to learn and grow which often involves moving beyond the conventions set down before us and creating more dynamic lives that reflect and honour our unique individuality. Our lives can be an expression of love and respect for ourselves that radiates outward. I’m convinced that this is what will really change the world for the better. If we intend to make positive change in this world, we must begin with ourselves.

If you would like to learn more about working with me to delve within, heal and grow, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com to arrange for a free discovery call.

Coming Out

When I came out about my Ayahuasca experiences it felt like such a dramatic step, probably because it was. I had not been on Facebook socially for years and had been so isolated that it was a shock to the senses to even contemplate this kind of personal exposure to the masses in general let alone coming out with such a wild story. But this was only the beginning for me.

First I had to get over my own misgivings about talking openly about my experiences – sorting through them and understanding them. Did my misgivings have to do with the stigma around ‘drugs’? Or was it the stigma of others’ preconceived notions about spirits? Talking plants? Inner voices? There were many things I had to consider myself before coming out in a way that didn’t reflect my own inner barriers.

I had to sort out how I felt about it and I did that initially through writing about it and exploring my thoughts and attitudes about all of it as I went. This was a valuable process in and of itself as it taught me a lot about myself and helped bring to the surface some unhealthy attitudes that had to change – not just to help facilitate my ‘coming out’ but to help support this new, more healthy person I was becoming.

Once I had worked through a lot of my own ideas about it, I wanted to focus on the outcome of these experiences – the inspirational stuff – the stuff that all human beings can connect with and are looking for: peace, insight, connectedness, wholeness, healing, wellness & meaning. These were the most important pieces of the story and talking honestly (for me) about where I was at before I had plant medicine experiences. These were the aspects of the experience that others could identify with and there were elements of this story that held so much promise for what others wanted in their lives and what they could achieve. It was the same with me when I heard others speak about these experiences. I knew there was something there for me but I didn’t realize the full extent to which this experience would change me and continue to change me in ways that were not always comfortable to say the least.

Another thing I had to consider was my own motivations for telling my story (other than the fact that Ayahuasca was urging me to do so ;-). I have heard others speak about things (especially spiritual or even ‘cures’ or natural remedies) where their attachment to outcome came through so strongly, it turned me off. I felt their agenda and rejected what they had to say not because of the content but because of this control factor. It was uncomfortable. So, I had to figure this out about myself. Did I have an agenda? What was my purpose in telling my story? Did it come from an attachment to a desired outcome or was it because I had a more authentic motivation? Did it matter whether or not people believed me? That was a big one and important for me to explore further.

For me, at the beginning, I was so moved by what had happened to me that I felt a deep and natural desire to express it. In the heart of my experience with plant medicines, there was a truth that was so profound it deserved to be expressed. That was all. However, I had to take the journey of exploring all of the other things to get to the point where I could do this and I grew through that explorative journey. It was an integrative process. I confronted my inner barriers and discovered the reasons behind my concerns about what people might think. I explored my own ideas about plants, spirituality etc before and after plant medicines and made that part of my coming out story. That part was authentically me – a person who thrives on exploration of these matters. It’s not necessarily everyone else. If it wasn’t part of who I was, it may have come off more like I was defending some uncontested story.

So, coming out is a journey and for some of us, it may require some prep. If we search ourselves for any agendas or fears, this prep can be an opportunity for some personal growth and healing. What I have discovered is that there’s very little, if anything in life that doesn’t present this opportunity.

Hypnosis & Psychedelic/Plant Medicine Integration

From the earliest stages of my foray into shamanism, my intention was to heal and the first message or insight I received in response to my intention was “everything you need is inside of you”. It’s not an original notion but I didn’t take it as seriously as I began to once I embarked on the shamanic path of healing which ultimately involved plant medicines and psychedelics. It was an essential theme for inner work and personal growth that helped me to put my focus where it needed to be – within. That was 10 years ago and it has served me well. I have experienced many plant medicines, psychedelics, shamanic healings/retreats and used many tools along the way and all of them confirmed the fact that changing from within was the most powerful way to change my life experience for the better.

I then began to search for the best tool to help others to do this kind of work. I searched for something that resonated with me and that honoured this most essential theme of focusing within to bring about changes in one’s life. I was very surprised to discover that hypnosis answered this description and served as the ultimate tool for plant medicine and psychedelic integration. Like many, I often perceived hypnosis as a disempowering practice that was used to control others but this was a misconception. In fact, I had many misconceptions about psychedelics, spirituality and even shamanism as well, probably due to how it was represented in the media and in other ways that I had been exposed to throughout my life. What a revelation it was to discover how empowering and transformative hypnosis could be! It was a pleasant surprise and I still marvel at the power of it and how much it has changed so many people’s lives for the better including my own.

After studying and working with hypnosis the shamanic applications of it were so evident, it seems to me now that it must have been inspired by the ancient practice of shamanic journeying and meditation. In my experience and practice, hypnosis is a powerful combination of both and it’s the ideal integration method. Hypnosis can be used as a tool of self-discovery, which allows us to not only deeply explore our inner world but to begin to heal it. It allows us to discover inner programming and to change it for the better. It can also serve to facilitate a connection to higher consciousness to gain invaluable insights and this has unlimited potential. Sound familiar? It is very much like the experiences we have with plant medicines and psychedelics. In fact, it’s possible to revisit psychedelic and plant medicine experiences through hypnotic journeying. It’s a fascinating and transformative experience as it reveals to us our own unlimited potential and helps us to continue the journey we began with plant medicines and psychedelics. It is also a practice that we can begin to cultivate and do independently. As any truly empowering tool does, it engenders a sense of personal power, personal responsibility and unlimited possibilities.

Hypnosis testimonials

“If it wasn’t for the undeniable synchronicities that led me to Rebecca, I wouldn’t have imagined myself as someone to seek out counselling or therapy. I place a lot of faith in meditation and self-guided practises, and believe the answers we seek are present within ourselves – we don’t need to seek them from external sources. While this has served me vey well for many difficult years of my life, I recognized that I had reached a point where I was stuck and couldn’t identify what it was that was holding me back. After a couple of sessions with Rebecca I felt my mind had been gently trained to free itself from the many busy thoughts that hold us back from connecting with our subconscious self. I was able to tap into deeper states of relaxation that facilitated the deep inner work, which helped reveal the self-limiting beliefs I had around wealth and influence. Rebecca was very intuitive in guiding my inward journey, and very gentle in helping me embrace more wholesome and empowering ideologies. To help me continue realigning my beliefs while outside of our sessions, she provided me with guided self-hypnosis recordings that I could play anytime through the day, and particularly before bed. These powerful personalized recordings were designed very thoughtfully and thoroughly, and very soon I started to experience a generalized sense of wellness and confidence. As I continue my sessions and continue to peel back the layers of the onion that is my psyche, I want to express my gratitude for the transformative work Rebecca is doing through her hypnosis sessions!”

                                                                    Dr. Vedant Arun, Medical Bio-Physicist

“I worked with Rebecca in Hypnotherapy in fall 2019. In the sessions, I was able to feel peace and even have healing experiences. Rebecca is very knowledgeable in her craft and able to integrate her other plant medicine experiences as part of the coaching experience as well. She is very patient and open minded, providing a safe and comfortable space for me to freely explore and experience. Her voice is very soothing and led me into a trance that I wasn’t able to experience before. If you are interested in trying hypnotherapy, you will be in great hands with Rebecca. I also thoroughly enjoy her podcast as it can be a very good complement to her sessions. Happy journeying!”

Lu Wang, Business Consultant

I have been working with Rebecca for about 6 months at this point. I initially came to her for help with longer-term integration of my experiences with plant medicines. After a couple of rough journeys, I was actually fairly terrified of the whole process, and was reassured by listening to her podcasts.

After our first communications led me to ask for guidance and help via (remote) hypnotherapy, her compassionate presence and her insight helped me feel wonderfully supported as I continued to explore the process and broader journey. Her heartfelt efforts have helped me to gain both more understanding of and peace with the path I’m on. Specifically, she’s helped me to feel the loving side of the Grandmother, and helped prepare me for journeys by teaching self-hypnosis to improve my focus on intentions.

Her techniques are grounded and heartfelt, and her openness and compassion are palpable. Rebecca helps me to bridge my rather concrete allopathic training with these experiences, and to improve that which is my daily practice of living. I’m grateful for having found her and for the experiences she’s led me through, and looking forward to further exploration and growth.

Internist, Texas

If you are interested in working with me to discover your inner resources through hypnosis, please contact me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

Please note, I work remotely via Zoom which will require a computer with a camera and a built-in microphone (which most computers have).

Self-Love: The Intrinsic Value Of Us

It’s interesting to note how we tend to value human life intrinsically when it is brand new – babies being born into this world – or when it is almost over – people on their death beds. In these two instances, as babies and on the brink of death, we are the closest to an existence beyond this one. From all accounts of those who have had near death experiences, who have visited the existence beyond the one we know so well, it is understood that all of us have great value. This value is experienced in the form of a love so profound and permeating that no one wants to leave that loving existence and return to this one. So how do we as human beings, lose our sense of self-value and love? It happens in so many ways on an individual and societal level, and I think it starts when we place value on what a person does or doesn’t do above who they are. As children, the focus on our accomplishments is rather high, beginning with when we begin to talk and walk and then school, lessons and measurements of all sorts. It’s possible to lose our sense of self-value in focusing so much on what we’re ‘good at’ or ‘not good at’ and how we measure up to others – the comparisons can be disturbing and relentless. There is also valuing ourselves based on what we do for others – how we benefit others as a measurement of self-worth as though our only value is in what we offer to others apart from the simple, intrinsic value of who we are. Children pick up on all of these signals related to value, which is often focused on appearance, abilities and certain kinds of accomplishments. It’s how things have been for so many years, generation after generation. Perhaps we can change that now.

I have been focusing inward a great deal over the past 10 years after my initial foray into shamanic healing and I have learned that self-love is a fundamental aspect of well-being. More and more people are becoming aware of this profound truth, which is a sign of positive change and hopefully it signals a generational shift that bodes well for the future of humanity. There is a refreshing wave of interest in self-love and yet, many still struggle with this concept because of the influence of the past and the continuing and residual attitudes that permeate our society. I think that for many of us, self-love is a concept that takes some effort and consideration to embrace let alone to embody. After all, many of us have come from backgrounds filled with praise for being ‘selfless’. It was quite a revelation to me to begin to operate from a position of ‘self-service’, which has been an essential theme throughout my shamanic healing journey.  I found it surprising and ultimately liberating to embrace ‘what serves me’ realizing that some things that I had considered to be self-serving in the past, were not truly serving me at all. However, at the heart of this, if I am to truly master it, is self-love, which requires an appreciation for our intrinsic value – my intrinsic value. I’ve sat with it and considered it and just allowed the lessons to come realizing that like many of the shifts I’ve experienced on this journey, it takes time to make the big changes in perspective – to own them, apply them and embody them.

I think the greatest opportunity for me to truly come to terms with the idea of our intrinsic value came when my dad was at the end of his life. He had been in long term care for years before the end came and when it did, I had a deeply moving dream about a month beforehand. My dreams have become important healing and teaching tools since my earliest involvement in shamanism and some stand out more than others. This dream woke me up in the middle of the night and inspired me to record the message that came with it because it was so important. In fact, it was my father’s eulogy and I was giving it in my dream with the guidance of this wise voice that I have been hearing ever since my first journey with Ayahuasca in Peru. During this eulogy, there were accounts of some of my dad’s finer attributes but it became clear that these descriptions: kind, handsome, funny & gentle could be attributed to many other people. So what was it about my dad that made him so valuable and lovable? It was quite simply who he was. That unmistakable and unique essence of the man we knew and loved so well. There was a clear recognition of his intrinsic value. We knew this without question as we grieved and thought about his life and the time we shared with him. Could we know this without question about ourselves too? This ultimate truth about all of us that others will experience when we pass? Through this dream and the eulogy that I actually gave at his funeral, my father offered me a most valuable lesson that I’m passing onto you.

This is a powerful lesson and recognizing the power of it and the simple truth of it is important. One of the deepest truths that I have learned through this ever-present guiding voice and through many shamanic ceremonies and experiences is that who we are and how we regard ourselves is felt by others without us even saying a word. Our self regard is felt and it’s a signal that we send out into the world that is being responded to all the time. So, if we regard ourselves with love, we are creating the best possible experience for ourselves in this life. Once we become accustomed to experiencing self-love and valuing ourselves in this way, we can cultivate a society that recognizes the intrinsic value of humanity which will be reflected in all kinds of positive ways that will begin to change how we exist – how we educate children for example which can change everything. After all, if we place such value and importance on ourselves then we will place importance on learning about ourselves in the earliest stages of our lives – something that has been a giant gap in our education so far. I think we have a lot of work to do to bring this great shift about but I do believe it’s underway and it’s a sort of progressive, intentional evolution – one that must begin on an individual level. It all begins with self-love. Who knew that this could be such a learning curve? But it is and once we face this and intentionally take it on, we can begin to learn and embrace what it means to recognize our own intrinsic value, knowing the profound impact it can have on our own lives, on the next generation and on our world. Just think of how many aspects of our society would change if self-love was a core value that had to be considered and adhered to – before making any policy or product or program. Make no mistake, loving yourself and recognizing your intrinsic value is important work. I hope you begin this work today and open up to all of the wondrous possibilities that come with it.

Ayahuasca Helped Me Explore My Thoughts Then Said: “Tell Them”

During my daily dialogue with this inner teacher that has been available to me following my first Ayahuasca retreat, there have been many lessons around my thought patterns and some of the best lessons came when I was actually in ceremony (after ingesting the brew).. or so I thought. The reason I thought this was because during ceremony, I didn’t have my usual defence mechanisms at play – I was a captive audience. However, during one particularly memorable ceremony, Ayahuasca deliberately allowed my thoughts to occur as they normally would and used this opportunity to show me how I allowed my thoughts to get in the way of doing the things I wanted to do in my life. She literally showed me these thoughts as they occurred right after she had encouraged me to consider doing something wonderful. My conception of this wonderful endeavour was inevitably followed by thoughts that belittled this idea and made it seem not realistic or unlikely to succeed. Ayahuasca then pointed out how these thoughts themselves were the barriers I faced – not the subject or content of the thoughts, just the actual thoughts themselves. Then Ayahuasca said “Tell Them!” in an emphatic way.

This is not the first time that Ayahuasca has asked me to pass on messages, teachings and urged me to talk about the things I’ve experienced and learned. During a ceremony previous to the one described above, the usually abundant dialogue with Ayahuasca was very sparse and after a short lesson about how I create my own barriers (one of her favourite subjects) I heard “We will speak through you” and then I purged in a way that I won’t soon forget (and unfortunately, nether will the others in the clean up crew). Other than the obvious discomfort of the purge and the rigors of the medicine experience itself, it sounds like an easy thing to do, to share these teachings, but it wasn’t for me. I felt that I had to sufficiently address these issues myself before I could pass along these messages and teach what I was learning. But what did I consider to be sufficient? It was a yardstick that just kept growing and I could never measure up.

I had always been rather critical of spiritual teachers – probably because somewhere inside of me, I knew that I was one myself. My expectations of them were extremely high and this is one of the many lessons in the form of cosmic jokes that I’ve encountered on this integrative journey with Ayahuasca. It’s a good thing that I have a sense of humour – it comes in handy. Every time I’ve judged people in my life it has come back to haunt me and I’ve been humbled on many fronts. This particular judgement was the most difficult because it became a barrier to my own calling. How could I teach if I was so self-critical that I could never live up to my own standards? It was more than a barrier – it was a trap. I managed to make it seem so righteous. Ayahuasca was not impressed.

Well, I’m over it. One thing I always admired in teachers was their willingness to continue to learn and this is something I can honestly say that I’m always doing. Ayahuasca is my constant teacher and one of the best lessons yet was one she offered to help me to address my misgivings about moving forward with teaching. She let me know that due to this constant inner guidance, my awareness of my thoughts – including the ones that are harmful – is heightened. As I continue to move beyond my comfort zones, it inevitably involves contending with the thoughts that protest this move. She kindly points out to me that this is a sign of growth and progress in my life. If I wasn’t constantly moving beyond my comfort zones, I would not have to face and address or traverse these protesting thoughts that intervene. The point is to not let them take over and dominate my decisions or feelings about what I’m doing.

Ultimately, I hope to rest between major shifts outside of my comfort zones. In the meantime, I have decided to regard these periods of discomfort as badges of honour and to move forward with teaching, knowing that we’re all learning together. All I can do as a teacher is to pass on what I learn. This is all any teacher can do and it’s not only teachers who do this. I learn from everyone and what I hope to inspire people to do is to discover the ultimate teacher – the teacher within.

If you’d like to learn more about personal growth & spiritual connection through hypnotic journeying, please email me at rebecca.hayden@gmail.com

The Story of Our Keys: Ayahuasca Wisdom on Personal Power

During my ceremonies with Ayahuasca, like so many others, I had a dialogue with a higher form of consciousness that we call Ayahuasca. When I returned from the jungle, the dialogue continued. During one ceremony, Ayahuasca asked me to put pencil to paper and when I did, the following allegorical story emerged about the nature of our personal power and how we may use it either to build barriers or to create ‘new worlds’. In essence, it’s about how we create our own reality:

Your Keys

You carry a key inside of you, and that key opens the doors of the world that you create. You are creating new worlds all the time and using your key to enter those worlds. The key must remain with you so that you may have access to these new worlds. If you give that key away you lose access.

Giving Your Key Away

Given the importance of this key, it must remain within you. If you give away your key, you give away access to those new worlds–new possibilities. Once the key leaves you, the ability to enter those new worlds resides outside of you. If you put that key into someone else’s hands you have given that person your own access to these new worlds and possibilities. Once this happens your dependency on that person begins. This dependency often breeds resentment. This resentment is the foundation of structures called barriers. We build these structures that encompass our fears of using our own keys. Our focus shifts from these new possibilities to the keeper of the keys.

The Keeper of the Keys

This keeper is now in possession of the key to these new possibilities. This possession is never permanent. It is an illusion supported by the owners of the keys. This illusion becomes more powerful as the focus on the keeper grows. The keepers of the keys are now reviled by the owners because the keepers are restricting access or building worlds that the owners don’t like. This creates conflict.

The Key Owner’s Dilemma

Being convinced that the keepers now own the keys, the owners feel powerless. Every time the owner begins to build a new world this same owner destroys it in the name of the keeper always placing the responsibility for this destruction solely on the shoulders of the keeper. The owner’s frustration builds. How can the owner be expected to create a new world when the keeper stands in the way?

The New Owner’s Thoughts

Now that the keys have no real home having been discarded by the owners and never truly residing with the keeper, the keys constitute an immense unused power. This power is needed and desired by every owner and yet remains unused. The keys are illuminated every time someone breaks out this trap. Those who break free not only see the keys at everyone’s disposal, they also see the multitude of keys to the endless new worlds that they may build.

These are not only the new owners but the true owners as they acknowledge where the true power lies. The new owners see not only the possibilities but the endless struggle of those who deny ownership of their keys. This is a dilemma indeed. How can they help the other owners and keepers to see the reality of the natural and true state of the keys? They must show this by using their own keys to build new worlds in hopes that others will be inspired to claim ownership of their own keys. This is the path to freedom.

This is only an excerpt of ‘The Story of Our Keys’ that continues to unfold. I wrote this story but a higher form of consciousness is the author. I learned a great deal from writing this story and continue to learn more each time I write and each time I read it. It is becoming a book.  I will self-publish if necessary, but I would like to find a publisher who is inspired to take this on. Through this work, I have begun to see that our world is filled with unusual and inspiring things if we’re willing to see them and most importantly, to create them.