Movies, Emotional Detox & A Glimpse into the Human Condition

After dropping off my son this morning, I was overcome by emotion. The emotion wasn’t really attached to anything – maybe a general desire and appreciation for community but really, it was just one of many episodes designed to release pent up emotions. This is not an unusual thing for me these days and it’s not an indicator that anything is wrong. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I began a path of healing two years ago to heal myself from a very deep depression that lasted for years. This path has taken all kinds of twists and turns and has become the greatest and most intensive education I could have ever imagined. I’ve learned a great deal about myself and the world and my particular role in the world through a connection that has been unfailingly wise, supportive and loving. Many people make this connection through meditation and I’m sure that each person’s experience of this is as unique as they are. My connection was created through a shamanic process I engaged in two years ago as part of my efforts to cure my depression. Little did I know back then that I would be embarking upon an extraordinary adventure that would lead me through astonishing experiences that continue to this day. I’m not sure what my reaction would have been if I did know this back then. At that time, I would have done just about anything to relieve my suffering but I can say that it would have surprised me to know that I would be involved in anything that was deemed to be spiritual.

I’m sure that I was hoping for a quick fix but any kind of fix would do for me at that time as I was in such pain. I now realize that healing is a life long journey and it’s really a matter of taking a lead role in the direction and quality of my life. One doesn’t have to be depressed to see the benefits of this but being depressed forced me to see it. I think that this is why some people who have recovered from addictions, depression or other serious illnesses find themselves feeling grateful. Like many of them, I know that I would never have embarked on this journey if I hadn’t found myself in such a deep state of despair.

I have used various healing tools on this journey and many of them were prescribed through this connection to a deep intuition or presence. I have been taken through a process of emotional detox that has been quite a long one. I have been guided toward certain media – movies and books – that evoke a specific emotional reaction within me and often teach me a lesson. Mostly these lessons are about experiences I’ve had in my life and how they have affected me. Sometimes through these stories (either a movie or a book) I am introduced to a situation that needs to be addressed or more often an experience I had that needed to be acknowledged for what it was and how it made me feel. I often respond with tears and as I shed the tears there is a sense of release, understanding and peace. Sometimes there is pain but almost always a pain that is being brought up to be released so it’s a relief really – like finding the knot so it can be massaged. In these cases it is a gnawing pain that’s deeply embedded and causes untold problems until it’s brought to the surface to be acknowledged and released.

This process is quite remarkable. It’s obviously been custom designed for me. The movies I’ve been guided to watch are mostly movies I’ve seen before (or at least knew about) and sometimes they are not necessarily ones I want to watch. Just about every time I have this strong intuition toward one of these movies I’m doubtful and think I must be imagining things. Doubt is a constant that I’ve just gotten used to and I don’t even bother anymore to swat it away like a fly as I used to. Now I just allow doubt to run like a necessary computer program doing regular maintenance. Having experienced such extraordinary things through this process so far, I’m motivated to move beyond the doubt enough to watch the movie and every single time I’m amazed at how new and profound the experience is. There’s always something that stands out in the film that didn’t when I watched it before and it resonates so deeply with me that it’s unmistakable what the personal message is. Sometimes I respond emotionally before I fully understand why but the understanding comes as the tears fall. I always feel much better afterwards. It’s not like a regular cry at all (although I suspect that’s healthy too). It’s actually an elevating feeling – like I’ve achieved a different way of being afterwards. Sometimes it’s more pronounced than others but it’s always there and it always changes me for the better.

Sometimes these stories provide me with lessons about humanity. There is the prevalent issue of the senseless conflict in this world. This is something that we’re all aware of on some level but this message reaches a whole new level when this kind of lesson is underway. It’s like waking up to something so ridiculously simple and knowing that we’re failing to see the reality and impact of it. There is another persistent yet unique theme about humanity that becomes clearer and clearer to me each day, which is that humanity itself is an ecosystem. Initially this concept helped me to address my questions and anxiety about so many things that I found to be disturbing in this world. It became apparent to me that although I didn’t agree with every philosophy, system or approach to life, they all have their purpose – even those that may seem dark and destructive. I am often reminded of my depression which I saw no sense in at the time. This idea of humanity as an ecosystem gave me a great sense of peace. It’s a concept that I will expand upon more completely in my writing and in my book but it will also be an idea that I will continue to explore and engage with in responding to the world around me. It helps me respond more peacefully to the world and to expend my energies in a more appropriate and healthy way. This issue of the appropriate expenditure of energy is a lesson in and of itself that is continually reinforced and it’s worth sharing but I’ll leave that for another day when my energy reserves have been sufficiently replenished!

Credibility: Belief & Trust

To address the issue of credibility, in relation to the experiences I’ve been having and writing about, I decided to look up the definition of the word. It was quite a revelation as it often is when you pursue this kind of inquiry. There is a sense of chasing your tail. One word leads to another, which leads back to the first. Credibility definitions all have to do with belief and trust. As usual there are synonyms and examples of the use of the word and you inevitably come across other words and themes like reality and truth. Looking into the definitions of these related words is a very similar experience and I recommend that everyone do this but just in case you don’t think you’ll find the time, I have printed my findings at the bottom of this post.

Looking at the origins of words is often more intriguing than looking up the definition and it can provide more insight. I looked up the origins (etymology) of similar words: credible, credentials, credence. Eventually it led to the word Credo literally meaning “I believe”. I think the most important aspect of this exercise is that it shows that what we believe is what is considered to be credible. It reflected back to me the same kind of theme that repeats itself often on this journey of healing: when I look outside of myself to discover anything it always circles back to me in the end.

There are other interesting discoveries to be made in definitions for related words. Within the definition of the word ‘reality’ I found this most revealing statement that is meant to illustrate the meaning of this word:

  • a thing that is actually experienced or seen, especially when this is grim or problematic.

It’s interesting to consider the fact that we find something more credible – more reality based – if it is negative. I think we have all experienced the word reality more often than not being used in relation to something grim or unpleasant which is always contrasted by the idea of fantasy. This leads me back to why I made this inquiry in the first place. The word incredible is often used as an overwhelmingly positive description of something. It’s usually understood that whatever is being described as ‘incredible’ is actually witnessed or experienced. All of this would seem to indicate that what we experience as overwhelmingly positive, we find hard to believe. What does this say about our collective state of mind? At the very least, I think it can be changed for the better and I believe that this change is already underway with the growing interest in meditation, intention and consciousness. Areas of thinking that have been conventionally perceived as separate and opposed (science and spirituality) are now coming together to form beliefs (credibility – reality) that represent great progress and promise for humanity.

End Note: If you look at the definitions below, when you come across the part of the definition for the word ‘reality’ that states: “existence that is.. not subject to human decisions or inventions”, I hope you either have a good chuckle as I did or consider the various versions of reality we are exposed to daily on a social level (people’s opinions/beliefs) or look into the concept of quantum reality that continues to be a point of contention as many scientists remain committed to their own beliefs surrounding this revelation rather than continue to explore these phenomenal possibilities that might upset everything we’ve understood about reality to date. I think this is a good example of the spiritual and scientific community coming together, even though not all scientists are ready to consider the idea of our impact (observer’s effect) on reality to be ‘credible’.

End Note II: If you want a further chuckle, look up the definition of ‘reality’ yourself and see all of the references to ‘reality TV’.

Credibility/Credible

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/credible

: able to be believed : reasonable to trust or believe

: good enough to be effective

Full Definition of CREDIBLE

:  offering reasonable grounds for being believed <a credible account of an accident> <credible witnesses>

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/credibility

The quality of being trusted and believed in: the government’s loss of credibility

Origin

Mid 16th century: from medieval Latin credibilitas, from Latin credibilis (see credible).

Late Middle English: from Latin credibilis, from credere ‘believe’.

Etymology

Credible:

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=credible

credible (adj.)

“believable,” late 14c., from Latin credibilis “worthy to be believed,” from credere (see credo). Related: Credibly.

Credentials

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=credentials

credentials (n.)

“letters entitling the bearer to certain credit or confidence,” 1670s, from Medieval Latin credentialis, from credentia (see credence). Probably immediately as a shortening of letters credential (1520s, with French word order); earlier was letter of credence (mid-14c.).

Credence

credence (n.)

mid-14c., from Medieval Latin credentia “belief,” from Latin credentum (nominative credens), past participle of credere “believe, trust” (see credo).

Credo

credo (n.)

late 12c., from Latin, literally “I believe,” first word of the Apostles’ and Nicene Creeds, first person singular present indicative of credere “to believe,” from PIE compound *kerd-dhe- “to believe,” literally “to put one’s heart” (cognates: Old Irish cretim, Irish creidim, Welsh credu “I believe,” Sanskrit śrad-dhā- “faith”), from PIE root *kerd- (1) “heart” (see heart (n.)). The nativized form is creed. General sense of “formula or statement of belief” is from 1580s.

                When you look up the word ‘Truth’ you find many references to ‘Reality’:

  • that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.

                                     This led me to examine the word ‘Reality’

re·al·i·ty

noun: reality

the world or the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

“he refuses to face reality”

synonyms:the real world, real life, actuality; More truth; physical existence” distinguishing fantasy from reality”
antonyms:fantasy
    
  • a thing that is actually experienced or seen, especially when this is grim or problematic.
  1. 2.

the state or quality of having existence or substance.

  • Philosophy

existence that is absolute, self-sufficient, or objective, and not subject to human decisions or conventions.

Origin

late 15th century: via French from medieval Latin realitas, from late Latin realis ‘relating to things’ (see real1).

My conclusion about reality? It’s all relative…